Keplar

ABF has been out of rehab for 9 days. He started drinking today. How do I handle the relapse? Keep my mouth shut? Leave the house? I'm completely scared, sad and have no clue what to do. He's at his AA meeting drunk right now. That is just so sad and pathetic.

kittykitty

Hugs to you friend, sorry about the disappointment you are feeling now. I think what's best is to remember that this is his problem, and not yours. He is where he needs to be right now, with people who can help him, if he wants it.

What about you though? If you are uncomfortable being around him, maybe you should find another place to go for the night. Talking to him about it, especially when he is drunk, is a waste of time. Many times, in my experience, talking to someone about their drinking when they are sober doesn't get anywhere either. I'm guessing you have had the conversations before. They always go the same... new excuses to drink, more promises of it being the last time, etc etc. That what they were for me and my ex, anyways.

I eventually decided that I didn't want to have that same conversation for the rest of my life.

Take care of yourself tonight, he'll be fine.

Freedom1990

What are your boundaries, hon?

Keplar

Thanks, Kitty. I don't really have anywhere to go for the night. I'll just stay on guard and keep my distance I guess. I just pray this isn't going to be a 3-4 day bender that ends up with cops or an ambulance called. If things get hairy, I'll scrape up some money for a hotel room I guess. I have to work tomorrow, very early. Dang it. This sucks.

kittykitty

You have no friends or family around that you can stay with for a few days? There's nothing to be ashamed of in asking for help, you haven't done anything wrong here. Just want you to be safe.

Keplar

My best friend is out of town. My mom got married and moved a few hours away recently. My sister is about 2 hours south of me. I have to be at work very early tomorrow, so I'm kinda stuck here. If it starts looking bad. I'll take off and get a room somewhere near work. I'll go ahead and pack a bag and put it in the car to be ready.

GettingBy

Well, as the saying goes.... prepare for the worst (have your bag packed!) and pray for the best.

Who knows... maybe he connects with somebody at the AA meeting, goes for coffee and sober up before he comes home. That option is just as likely as all the bad ones.

So... don't get so focused on what might or might not happen. Just take care of you right now. Try and get some rest... simple, but not easy. I know all too well.

LexieCat

Well, I'm glad he's at an AA meeting. We're OK with drunks showing up.

Try to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. The packed bag is a good idea. You don't have to use it unless you must, but if you must, it will cut down on the drama.

Hugs, sorry this is happening.

Keplar

Thanks guys. I have the bag ready with the essentials for me & my son. Need to find an emergency day care plan for him for tomorrow. I think my company actually offers that service. About to check into it. Thank you God I have a decent job.

Keplar

He's home from the meeting. Seems better and more sober. Still got the bag packed just in case. I'm hoping for the best. That this was just a minor slip up that he can recover from. He gave me the alcohol and pills he says he had left. I hope tomorrow while I'm at work, things will be ok.

AMANDA911

sending a prayer for you and your son and your RA. I could not and still can not guarantee my RAH will stay sober. It has helped my peace of mind and serenity to find several Back up/ Emergency babysitters. Then I have less to worry about if a problem comes up. I used to keep a bag packed just in case in my vehicle too. I have unpacked that bag, but will repack it if I see signs that a relapse may be in the works.

Take care of you and your son.

smacked

I hope you're still seeking alternative care for your child.

Keplar

Yes, smacked, going to figure something out. I will call in to work if I have to. I hate to do that, because I've been at this job 2 months. Had drama related to all this already & I fear I'm on the boss's poop list already. I've got him signed up to this site and right now he's in the chat room talking to some folks in the recovery room. Just pray for us, and thanks again for being an anchor for me in these stormy seas.