thanks again..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Washington
Posts: 1
thanks again..
Thanks again everyone for the great info.
What I meant was floored was also in the sense you would be floored hearing of a best friend getting a terminal disease. I think everyone agrees who's been through this (and I have also, though with someone in the early stages), once others find out, they are often surprised or disbelieving (i was accused of exaggerating). Also, I hope I didn't offend by stating he's not tha AlAnon type. I have been to AlAnon meetings and they are very helpful. But I believe sometimes men have a very difficult time with this as the perception is that it's like group therapy where you're expected to "share feelings." I think we'd all agree that some people persist to be the kind to suffer in silence, unfortunately.
I'll pass on the information to my husband. I don't know at what point he'll realize that he can't do this alone. I was also surprised to learn that, though she'd been through 2 recent stints in rehab, he was not involved in any part of that.
J
What I meant was floored was also in the sense you would be floored hearing of a best friend getting a terminal disease. I think everyone agrees who's been through this (and I have also, though with someone in the early stages), once others find out, they are often surprised or disbelieving (i was accused of exaggerating). Also, I hope I didn't offend by stating he's not tha AlAnon type. I have been to AlAnon meetings and they are very helpful. But I believe sometimes men have a very difficult time with this as the perception is that it's like group therapy where you're expected to "share feelings." I think we'd all agree that some people persist to be the kind to suffer in silence, unfortunately.
I'll pass on the information to my husband. I don't know at what point he'll realize that he can't do this alone. I was also surprised to learn that, though she'd been through 2 recent stints in rehab, he was not involved in any part of that.
J
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Hi J-
I don't believe anyone thought you were knocking alanon.
Just like some people are not the AA type, some people are not the alanon type. Unfortunately there are multitudes of other recovery choices for addicts, there's just not much else out there for the people who love them except private counseliing. But also just like addicts, one can't force the affected family members to get help until they are ready to let go of their denial or pride or fear of disloyalty and admit that it's hurting them.
Now I'm curious. Ignore me all you want, but I'm gonna ask. Something tells me you weren't at alanon meetings because of your neighbor's wife. Have any more story you'd like to share?
I don't believe anyone thought you were knocking alanon.
Just like some people are not the AA type, some people are not the alanon type. Unfortunately there are multitudes of other recovery choices for addicts, there's just not much else out there for the people who love them except private counseliing. But also just like addicts, one can't force the affected family members to get help until they are ready to let go of their denial or pride or fear of disloyalty and admit that it's hurting them. Now I'm curious. Ignore me all you want, but I'm gonna ask. Something tells me you weren't at alanon meetings because of your neighbor's wife. Have any more story you'd like to share?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
I'm rambling here
but something in Smoke's post got me thinking.
Why is is so hard for Anon's to admit they're hurting? It's a knee-jerk reaction to say "OW!" when you bang your elbow. So why do we Anon's (or people in general) stuff our emotional hurt way down deep?
There is a bit in "The Divine Secrets of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood" where when the two of the characters hear something that hurts them they say "OUCH". I have taken to doing this myself. It gives affirmation to the emotional hurt and keeps it from sinking to the "dark basement of hurts never dealt with".
Rambling over, return to your regularly scheduled posting.
Peace,
Gabe
Why is is so hard for Anon's to admit they're hurting? It's a knee-jerk reaction to say "OW!" when you bang your elbow. So why do we Anon's (or people in general) stuff our emotional hurt way down deep?
There is a bit in "The Divine Secrets of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood" where when the two of the characters hear something that hurts them they say "OUCH". I have taken to doing this myself. It gives affirmation to the emotional hurt and keeps it from sinking to the "dark basement of hurts never dealt with".
Rambling over, return to your regularly scheduled posting.
Peace,
Gabe
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