Wow...I just had a bit of an epiphany.
Wow...I just had a bit of an epiphany.
I was reading a post (AMANDA's) and she talked about taking it one day at a time. Don't worry about what tomorrow MIGHT bring...its going to bring it in whatever way it comes.
It suddenly occurred to me why I get so bent out of shape and start to obsess about what happens next. It's not so much that I want to control someone else's behavior and make them do what I think it best for them. It's that *I* don't want to end up in the position of having to confront my own weaknesses. I hate that I don't do a better job of protecting my boundaries and when the behaviors stay the same, I'm put in the position of holding to my word. Of causing myself pain. Of having to be firm.
UGH. Maybe I'm supposed to be here right now. This is the ultimate experience in learning to say and MEAN "No."
It suddenly occurred to me why I get so bent out of shape and start to obsess about what happens next. It's not so much that I want to control someone else's behavior and make them do what I think it best for them. It's that *I* don't want to end up in the position of having to confront my own weaknesses. I hate that I don't do a better job of protecting my boundaries and when the behaviors stay the same, I'm put in the position of holding to my word. Of causing myself pain. Of having to be firm.
UGH. Maybe I'm supposed to be here right now. This is the ultimate experience in learning to say and MEAN "No."
My sponsor says it all the time, "You're right where you are supposed to be." YEAH, it ticks me off sometimes!
Look at it this way, you are still trying to control circumstances you can't control. That's the lesson you need to learn, probably. We can't control everything even if we are doing it for ourselves, rather than for someone else. We still cling to the illusion that if we do everything JUST RIGHT we won't have to suffer.
The deal is, even when we do everything "just right" stuff is still gonna happen--stuff we cannot possibly control. Whether we suffer really depends on our own attitudes. Life doesn't stop happening, and we are still gonna have to deal with it. We don't get a break from disasters, large or small, because we are living the way we should be. All we are promised are better ways to deal with them.
Hugs,
Look at it this way, you are still trying to control circumstances you can't control. That's the lesson you need to learn, probably. We can't control everything even if we are doing it for ourselves, rather than for someone else. We still cling to the illusion that if we do everything JUST RIGHT we won't have to suffer.
The deal is, even when we do everything "just right" stuff is still gonna happen--stuff we cannot possibly control. Whether we suffer really depends on our own attitudes. Life doesn't stop happening, and we are still gonna have to deal with it. We don't get a break from disasters, large or small, because we are living the way we should be. All we are promised are better ways to deal with them.
Hugs,
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