CKN

I was just wondering if there is a good way to explain an alcoholic to children? My mother is an alcoholic and currently in out patient rehab, but not recovery. My father recently moved into his own apartment and my sister and her kids currently have nc with my mother due to her last "binge". This summer my husband and I will taking our kids back to where we grew to visit our families. My kids are 7 and 4. I don't want them seeing my AM and my 4 year is too young to understand, but my 7 year keeps asking me questions. I explained that grandma is sick and getting help, but my 7 year old having medical problems of his own, wants to know what type of doctor she is seeing, how long will she be in the hospital, does she need medicine, ect. I am not sure whether I should be truthful with him and to what extent.

Thanks for any advice!

skippernlilg

You're doing a great job at keeping your answers at your children's age appropriate level.

You can let him know that your AM is getting treatment and seeing specialists (or "doctors and caretakers that know this kind of disease) and that this particular disease may take a long time for her to heal from. Sometimes this sickness makes people act really really weird, so we make sure we give them plenty of space to get their treatment done so they can get better.

My son understood it this way!

MissChievous

I agree with Skipper - be honest, in a gentle-simplified kind of way. Explain that Grandma is sick, but not the kind of sick where she can go to a doctor and get a pill. Tell him that she has a disease, and the disease sometimes makes her do things that are mean and don't make sense, and affects her behavior and mood. And she acts like this because of the disease; not because she's a bad person.

Does your son have any bad habits he's trying to break? Like biting his nails? Perhaps could make some kind of comparisons there.

There's a book that would be good for him - it's called "My Dad Loves Me, My
Dad Has a Disease," by Claudia Black. It includes a lot of pictures drawn by kids who are in art therapy and include observations about problems they've had to deal with. It also includes a workbook that helps explain.

I believe that age-appropriate-honesty is the best policy!