gabs22

so my boyfriend is coming out of rehab by the end of july and im happy for him
before he got in there he was living with me and my fam. so they saw everything i went through with his alcoholism the lying the fighting.well since hes been in rehab we have been speaking and everything is going very well he tells me he loves me and always has and that he wants to make it all up to me eventually i guess all im rembering is the bs i went through with him but im the type of person who can give second chances especially cause hes doing this recovery for himself no one else. and i love the guy with all my heart so today i was speaking to my dad about him and he said to me that my bf was in a fog are whole relationship so how do i know he really cared and that when he gets out im just a place to stay now that hitme harder then anything i just dont knw what to do when he gets out let him stay with me or have him stay somewhere else for alittle bit ? ahhh i just would like to hear from somonewhos been through this

thank you,gabs

Cyranoak

Dad is right. Why would you, or your dad, let him stay at your place.

Wow.

Cyranoak

laurie6781

Actually upon leaving rehab is best bet is to go to a Sober Living House. I am sure his counselor will mention that to him

He needs to work really hard on him the first year into recovery, and you if you have any hope of continuing this relationship down the road, need to be going to AlAnon or Naranon and/or a counselor specializing in addiction and working on you.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

LexieCat

Whose house is it? If you are living with your family, it sounds like it's your parents' place. If I were your Dad, I wouldn't let him move back in. It kinda sounds like Dad is a little reluctant to lay down the law with you, but you should consider the impact on them, even if you would be OK letting him live with you.

Laurie has a good idea--a Sober Living house might be best for everyone.

Carol Star

Watch the boyfriend's ACTIONS, not what he says. I hope you are going to Alanon. You need to work your program and let him work his. A sober living house would be best.

gabs22

thanks everyone for the advice i will be speaking with him tomorrow about his plans when he gets out
thanks again

skippernlilg

I wouldn't want that question hanging in the air: Is he living with me for someplace to live?

I'd want to eliminate that possibility right off the bat and not provide that. He needs to learn to make his own 'safe place to land'. You need to not worry about what he needs so much. Focus on YOU. When you're both better, you might have a chance.

My best,
skipper

m1k3

A hard thing to learn is that he has to own his own recovery just like you have to own yours. Focus on your recovery. From your point of view it should be the only one that matters. I know it is from mine concerning my recovery.

Your friend,

blueblooms14

Remember to make your own plans for what you need and want too.
If he loves you, he can prove that no matter where he is.
Love is patient. Love is kind. You deserve to be shown that for a very long time.

Ladybug0130

I wish my AH had gone to sober living when he left rehab, he really needed it and I think it would have helped a ton. Unfortunately, rehab was so fun and easy for him, it was really like the frat experience he never had. Sober living would have helped him learn how to be in the real world. He was way overconfident when he left rehab and was home drinking in a week.

Coming back to your house does not sound like a good idea, at all.