kittykitty

I just went back and read my first posts on this forum, when I came on for assistance with my ABF (who is finally an ex). Wanted to see how far I've come.

I can't believe all the crap I went through with him, taking him back all those times. I seemed so strong on my posts, knowing what I was doing was right, and everyone was so supportive. Realizing that I was one of those who had to F up numerous times myself was pretty eye opening. I really believed that me and him were different. Most of what happened isn't even posted on here, I was too embarrassed to come back for a while there.

I guess that was my path, but I'm also so adimate with others sometimes about not following my path, and doing the same things I did. I can't believe how much of my life, and more importantly my sanity, I gave up to him and his addiction, even after all the wisdom that was shared with me here, every time I came for help. But I am grateful for all of it now, because of the lessons I learned in the progress. Nothing beats learning from your own mistakes. It made me the person I am (trying to be) today. I need to remember not to try and take that from others.

It helps to go back and remember where we came from, before we were 'saved'.

I just want to say thanks for not turning your backs on me because I just wasn't "getting it". It took me a while, and I finally got it. **

Impurrfect

(((KittyKitty))) - I think most of us took a while to "get it". I know it took me well over 20 years to even THINK that it just might be a good idea to look into why I was attracted to A's, why that led to my own addiction, and all the other many things that go along with loving an A.

Sure, some of us get frustrated, at times, that we can't get someone else to "get it" faster, as we know how much better life is, but I've found that even then, there is often much compassion and understanding.

Glad that little light bulb kicked in, but don't go the route I did (beating myself up for not getting it earlier). We each have our own path to recovery road, and mine has had a lot of detours, but I always learned something.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

vujade

Oooh! Totally BTDT, Kitty. You'll notice that I've been a member of the site since early 2007 but have under 200 posts. I was in the "why does he do this to me" place when I first came here and let the behaviors continue for so very long. I spent years just reading others' posts because my story was no different.

I know, like you, that I have come so very far and a large contributor has been this board, the wonderful, knowledgeable, giving, caring, at-times-brutally-honest people.

WTG, woman!!!!! How great that you can see your own personal progression and feel uplifted by it. Thanks for sharing.

skippernlilg

Wow!! I hope to be at the place you are someday soon. I don't think I'm ready to read about the past quite yet.

But someday soon...someday soon....