SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/)
-   Friends and Family of Alcoholics (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/)
-   -   Reminders (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/229213-reminders.html)

StarCat 06-12-2011 05:42 PM

Reminders
 
Well.
It's vacation season, and XABF always booked more hotels (almost a year in advance), and I had hoped he had called them all to cancel, but I was wrong.

I just got a call from someone at a hotel on the other side of the state, looking for XABF, because he hasn't arrived at the Honeymoon Suite of a hotel, and my number was left as the contact information.
I gave her XABF's office phone to call, because that's the number he always leaves for these reservations. I don't know why my number ended up in this one.

This means he's going to have a voicemail left on his phone at work, so he's going to have a bad day on Monday. Maybe even drive to the liquor store.
In the past I would have felt guilty about this.
Now I'm just mad that he didn't call and cancel.

I'm also debating changing my phone number so I don't get all sorts of calls when July comes around - just in case my number is listed on any of them. But I changed my number once, and it's a real hassle to let everyone know my new number.
Not sure I want to go through the mess of changing it again. Plus I finally memorized this one.
Depends which mess will be bigger, I guess. I'll think on it.

I'm also grateful I reported my credit card "lost" so I could get a new number. At least there won't be any surprise charges, because I know the card was used for at least two reservations (this was one of them). I'd rather pay off my own bills that I allowed XABF to rack up on my card while we were together, rather than add new ones.

On the plus side, if I'm getting a call from a single hotel, imagine how many calls he's getting? And how many charges from hotels billed to his card for no-shows.
He booked one hotel a weekend, on average.

I'll confess I am getting some pleasure out of that thought.
And then I feel guilty about that... But only a little guilty. :)

TakingCharge999 06-12-2011 05:49 PM

I am also getting some pleasure. I am all about revenge, LOL
Sorry that was not very "recovered" of me...

Good for you for avoiding future charges!

Hum, about changing the number, perhaps record the phone numbers of loved ones so you know the VIP are calling you, and ignore any calls from unlisted numbers? after all if its someone else they will leave a voicemail... or just say "no, call this other number" and let it go.. just like you handled this call. After some time you won´t receive any further calls...

That is what he gets for not behaving responsibly and just call to cancel like any decent person would do...
Hugs Starcat :D

barb dwyer 06-12-2011 06:39 PM

I simply don't answer any calls that I don't recognize the number.

That removes a LOT of stress.

kittykitty 06-12-2011 06:41 PM

Wow... what a mess, for him, thank goodness, and not for you. Glad you had the smarts to get the credit card changed, good thinking.

I think it's okay to get a little pleasure out of the fact that someone is going to experience the consequences of their actions. Especially if in the past we had to endure the brunt of them. It's a relief to be free of the agony :)

StarCat 06-12-2011 07:06 PM


Originally Posted by barb dwyer (Post 2998463)
I simply don't answer any calls that I don't recognize the number.

I do that more than I used to.

Tonight, though, I was going to spend time with a friend of mine - but when I didn't hear from her and called her cell phone she told me her daughter was in the hospital, she'd just arrived there herself, and she'd call me when she knew more.
She hasn't called yet, and I'm worried about her and her daughter. Especially since tomorrow is going to be stressful enough for her (long story, but I was hoping to have one last evening with her before a certain someone in her life got out of jail... I'm not too keen to meet this guy when he's not wearing the handcuffs with a court sheriff standing behind him, you know?)

So I answered thinking she was calling from the hospital phone, to let me know how her daughter was doing. I've been worrying all night about what it might be, especially since her daughter is (recently) pregnant. Didn't even think to check the area code of the call.
(Prayers for my friend and her daughter would be wonderful.)

Even with the best of intentions, sometimes those calls get through. XABF is blocked, though, as is most of his family, and I absolutely don't answer calls from blocked numbers either, so at least most of the bad ones I don't have a choice if I'm going to answer or not. :)

Freedom1990 06-12-2011 07:37 PM

I'll send out some prayers for your friend and her daughter. :hug:

StarCat 06-12-2011 07:43 PM


Originally Posted by Freedom1990 (Post 2998517)
I'll send out some prayers for your friend and her daughter. :hug:

Thank you so much, Freedom.
You are the best.

I'll confess I'm worrying more about them than I am about XABF or the poor hotel lady.
I'm just trying to relax, because it's out of my hands, and there's really nothing I can do (except be there for my friend, when she's ready to talk about it).

What I wouldn't do for that magical "FIX EVERYTHING!" button I always seemed to think I was supposed to have.

LaPinturaBella 06-12-2011 08:42 PM

I too am sending out prayers for your friend and her daughter. Also, if you don't want to meet the guy without his handcuffs, you do realize that you're under no obligation to do so. Re: the poor hotel lady...no worries there. People cancel all the time, hotels are used to it. and it's not money out of her pocket. Re: exABF, I'm sooo glad you changed your credit cards. I probably wouldn't have thought about that until some charge was posted that I didn't make. And it's about time he starts feeling some consequences. Will he pay the hotel, doubtful, unless he's lined up another woman to control and manipulate into paying for his stuff. Hope it sinks in for him, but I won't be holding my breath.

P.S. How is Peaches doing?

StarCat 06-13-2011 07:18 AM

About the guy, I know that. It's just hard enough to get in touch with my friend already, it's going to be even harder now that he's out. (I'm assuming he's out now, haven't heard anything, but he was due for release sometime this morning).

Peaches is doing great! She's my sweetheart. <3
Her new favorite toy is this crazy wire with some cardboard attached to the end, because the wire is just the right gage to bounce around like an insect.
She'll stare at me with her little kitten eyes, pretending to be all lonely and neglected, and as soon as I say her name and ask what she wants she'll lead me straight to it (which is great, because it's impossible for me to notice unless I step on it), get into her pouncing posture near the cardboard end, and look up at me with expectation and excitement.

It is too cute.
All the fancy toys I get her, but no, she wants to play with the $3 cardboard-and-wire thing.

Programmatic 06-13-2011 07:37 AM


Originally Posted by barb dwyer (Post 2998463)
I simply don't answer any calls that I don't recognize the number.

That removes a LOT of stress.

Bingo. If it's important or someone wants to talk to me they will leave a message.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:40 AM.