Mylifesofar

So I went away for a night with my daughters but left my son at home with his AF. I feel guilty every time I do that but I need time too and he knows he can text or call me. Poor guy has no friends and no dad to speak of to take him places and do things dad's do with their sons. So mad I let this happen to him. It's just not cool for a teenage boy to hang with his mom but that's what ends up happening. So anyway back to why I am really angry. We come home yesterday and 2 of my girls are going to a local game, son says I want to go. Ok, let's go and to AH said, want to go along. Of course, he said no. We are getting ready to go and he gets in the shower. No big deal but then he puts on not staying home clothes and I said oh you're going with us. Uh no, he's going to the boat to gamble and drink. So rather than take your son to a game, you'd rather go gamble and drink. Yeah that makes me angry. I take him to the game and sit right behind a couple of older couples who are enjoying each other and the game. The women sit together and the men sit together. The men do have a beer but not 6-7 beers. Makes me realize we never do this, I'm always alone at functions. Geez, I might as well be a single mom I really am already! Poor son sits by me most of the game as again he has no friends. Can you imagine any better Saturday night as a 14 year old boy than hanging at the baseball game with your mom?!?!?!
So of course he texts me when he gets home, "when are you coming home?" Yeah I know what you want and you are NOT getting it. So I make sure I'm out late enough he will be passed out when I get home. Couldn't avoid it this morning but at least it was with a sober husband. I'm really trying to not let him run my life and go on with mine but everytime I turn around I have this. No I can't leave right now. Believe it or not son would be crushed plus there are other things keeping me here. He needs to get sober, I can't make him get sober, I can't make him get involved. So here I am, angry... Posting the ring as I feel like I just go around in circles every day same old same old. I guess at least now I have here to vent.
Still looking for an Al-Anon meeting I can make without AH knowing but haven't found one. They probably don't want me anyway because I'd do nothing but talk.

kittykitty

"..I feel guilty every time I do that but I need time too and he knows he can text or call me..."

are you saying this about your son? This is why you leave him with his alcoholic father?

Please find an alanon meeting, and Alateen for the kids. I know you think that leaving him would be too hard on your son, but consider what you are doing to your children by staying, and allowing them to grow up with this.

"..Yeah I know what you want and you are NOT getting it. So I make sure I'm out late enough he will be passed out when I get home. Couldn't avoid it this morning but at least it was with a sober husband..."

This does not sound like a good place to be in. I've always been told that I don't have to be intimate with someone if I don't want to. (perhaps I am under the wrong impression here, it sounds like you are referring to unwanted sex. I apologize if my assumption is wrong).

Keep reading on here, and you'll find lots of threads that pertain to situations very similar to yours, where people feel trapped in relationships, no way out. After careful considerations and a change in attitude, many of us have found that that isn't really the case, and that there is hope for us. **

"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key." -Eagles song