Getting married to a binge drinker....HELP

Old 06-14-2011, 06:45 PM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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I don't know if someone posted the three Cs yet but I feel like it's appropriate...

You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it
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Old 06-20-2011, 11:05 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
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"The burned hand teaches best - after that, advice about fire goes straight to the heart."

J.R.R. Tolkien
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Old 06-20-2011, 11:48 AM
  # 83 (permalink)  
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I would never wish that on any child at any time. It is a big reason behind my not having children; I wanted to make sure they didn't get any subconscious monstrosity that I might deliver, despite my best intentions.
I could have written that. I too am an Adult Child of Alcoholics, and I decided long ago that I would never have children. I was determined I would never to do to someone else what had been done to me.

I never had children, either, and I'm almost 60.
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Old 06-20-2011, 11:57 AM
  # 84 (permalink)  
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Sad, lunakim must have married binge drinker it's been a week since she first posted. It makes me want to cry for her.
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Old 06-20-2011, 12:13 PM
  # 85 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by fedup3 View Post
Sad, lunakim must have married binge drinker it's been a week since she first posted. It makes me want to cry for her.
maybe since she found us once - she will feel comfortable enough to come back if she needs help again!

we can only hope and pray that she will!

PINK HUGS & prayers for all those suffering from the disease of alcoholism - the one who takes in the substance and the family surrounding them!

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Old 06-20-2011, 12:16 PM
  # 86 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MsPINKAcres View Post
maybe since she found us once - she will feel comfortable enough to come back if she needs help again!
I was here and in Al-anon 6 years ago... and then slipped back into co-dependency. I'm back now - and more focused then ever on ME and my recovery.

We all have to travel our own road...
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Old 06-21-2011, 08:50 PM
  # 87 (permalink)  
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I am here still.... and yes i did get married.
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Old 06-22-2011, 12:43 AM
  # 88 (permalink)  
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Lunakim, how are you feeling about everything now? Still the same?
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Old 06-22-2011, 12:51 AM
  # 89 (permalink)  
A jug fills drop by drop
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Hi Lunakim...
How are you?
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Old 06-22-2011, 03:57 AM
  # 90 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the update Lunakim. I wish you all the best in your marriage. (((Hugs)))

I'm glad you found SR. Don't be a stranger!
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Old 06-22-2011, 04:48 AM
  # 91 (permalink)  
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Lunakim, best wishes!

I know you probably were reluctant to tell us you did in fact get married after the barrage of red flag and caution tape, so let's talk about the positive.

I am assuming your H is a wonderful guy in many ways, so I do wish you many, many fun and happy times together. Water the seeds (as Thich Nhat Hanh would say) of all the many good times you are bound to have, as well as the seeds of love and compassion for each other.

Make sure you are watering the seeds of your own self-worth, too! You may need to be extra vigilant of protecting yourself against the behavior connected to his binges. This may mean not going out to bars with him if you know he's going to go overboard. Don't be fooled into thinking "this time will be different." Know who you married and act accordingly.

Don't let him get away with acting irresponsibly. Stick to your guns if he starts acting like a child.

Keep your emotional and physical abuse antenna way up high and if those feelers start tingling, run.

I guess, in short, don't put up with any sh*t. I mean it. None. Not one bit. Make it your mantra. If I could relive the last 34 years after living with my AH. that's the one overriding thing I'd change about my own behavior.

Be good to yourself, stick around, and I do wish you a very happy marriage!
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