Blogs


Notices

Getting married to a binge drinker....HELP

Old 06-14-2011, 06:45 PM
  # 81 (permalink)  
Clever Yak
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ---
Posts: 4,360
Blog Entries: 38
I don't know if someone posted the three Cs yet but I feel like it's appropriate...

You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it
JustAYak is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to JustAYak For This Useful Post:
atdawn (06-14-2011), Freedom1990 (06-14-2011), laurie6781 (06-14-2011), Linkmeister (06-14-2011), Ponder (06-14-2011), seekingcalm (06-22-2011), Shellcrusher (06-15-2011), skippernlilg (06-14-2011)
Old 06-20-2011, 11:05 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleWilder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 743
"The burned hand teaches best - after that, advice about fire goes straight to the heart."

J.R.R. Tolkien
PurpleWilder is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to PurpleWilder For This Useful Post:
m1k3 (06-22-2011), TakingCharge999 (06-22-2011)
Old 06-20-2011, 11:48 AM
  # 83 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Miles from Nowhere
Posts: 396
I would never wish that on any child at any time. It is a big reason behind my not having children; I wanted to make sure they didn't get any subconscious monstrosity that I might deliver, despite my best intentions.
I could have written that. I too am an Adult Child of Alcoholics, and I decided long ago that I would never have children. I was determined I would never to do to someone else what had been done to me.

I never had children, either, and I'm almost 60.
kudzujean is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to kudzujean For This Useful Post:
TakingCharge999 (06-22-2011)
Old 06-20-2011, 11:57 AM
  # 84 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 837
Sad, lunakim must have married binge drinker it's been a week since she first posted. It makes me want to cry for her.
fedup3 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to fedup3 For This Useful Post:
LaPinturaBella (06-20-2011), m1k3 (06-22-2011), MsPINKAcres (06-20-2011), PurpleWilder (06-21-2011), seekingcalm (06-22-2011), TakingCharge999 (06-22-2011)
Old 06-20-2011, 12:13 PM
  # 85 (permalink)  
Living in a Pinkful Place
 
MsPINKAcres's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Originally Posted by fedup3 View Post
Sad, lunakim must have married binge drinker it's been a week since she first posted. It makes me want to cry for her.
maybe since she found us once - she will feel comfortable enough to come back if she needs help again!

we can only hope and pray that she will!

PINK HUGS & prayers for all those suffering from the disease of alcoholism - the one who takes in the substance and the family surrounding them!

Rita
MsPINKAcres is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to MsPINKAcres For This Useful Post:
GettingBy (06-20-2011), m1k3 (06-22-2011), seekingcalm (06-22-2011), TakingCharge999 (06-22-2011), tjp613 (06-20-2011)
Old 06-20-2011, 12:16 PM
  # 86 (permalink)  
Member
 
GettingBy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Originally Posted by MsPINKAcres View Post
maybe since she found us once - she will feel comfortable enough to come back if she needs help again!
I was here and in Al-anon 6 years ago... and then slipped back into co-dependency. I'm back now - and more focused then ever on ME and my recovery.

We all have to travel our own road...
GettingBy is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to GettingBy For This Useful Post:
bruingirl (06-21-2011), LaPinturaBella (06-20-2011), m1k3 (06-22-2011), MsPINKAcres (06-20-2011), roxiestone (06-20-2011), TakingCharge999 (06-22-2011), tjp613 (06-20-2011)
Old 06-21-2011, 08:50 PM
  # 87 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Lunakim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Saint Louis
Posts: 24
I am here still.... and yes i did get married.
Lunakim is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Lunakim For This Useful Post:
seekingcalm (06-22-2011), TakingCharge999 (06-22-2011), Thumper (06-21-2011), tjp613 (06-22-2011)
Old 06-22-2011, 12:43 AM
  # 88 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 152
Lunakim, how are you feeling about everything now? Still the same?
bruingirl is offline  
Old 06-22-2011, 12:51 AM
  # 89 (permalink)  
A jug fills drop by drop
 
TakingCharge999's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,783
Hi Lunakim...
How are you?
TakingCharge999 is offline  
Old 06-22-2011, 03:57 AM
  # 90 (permalink)  
Member
 
tjp613's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Blog Entries: 16
Thanks for the update Lunakim. I wish you all the best in your marriage. (((Hugs)))

I'm glad you found SR. Don't be a stranger!
tjp613 is offline  
Old 06-22-2011, 04:48 AM
  # 91 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoloMio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,116
Lunakim, best wishes!

I know you probably were reluctant to tell us you did in fact get married after the barrage of red flag and caution tape, so let's talk about the positive.

I am assuming your H is a wonderful guy in many ways, so I do wish you many, many fun and happy times together. Water the seeds (as Thich Nhat Hanh would say) of all the many good times you are bound to have, as well as the seeds of love and compassion for each other.

Make sure you are watering the seeds of your own self-worth, too! You may need to be extra vigilant of protecting yourself against the behavior connected to his binges. This may mean not going out to bars with him if you know he's going to go overboard. Don't be fooled into thinking "this time will be different." Know who you married and act accordingly.

Don't let him get away with acting irresponsibly. Stick to your guns if he starts acting like a child.

Keep your emotional and physical abuse antenna way up high and if those feelers start tingling, run.

I guess, in short, don't put up with any sh*t. I mean it. None. Not one bit. Make it your mantra. If I could relive the last 34 years after living with my AH. that's the one overriding thing I'd change about my own behavior.

Be good to yourself, stick around, and I do wish you a very happy marriage!
SoloMio is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to SoloMio For This Useful Post:
seekingcalm (06-22-2011), Thumper (06-22-2011), tjp613 (06-22-2011), transformyself (06-22-2011)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:28 PM.