isurvived

I'm once again amazed at the skill level of the alcoholic to masterfully turn the topic around to YOU. Deflection at it's finest!!!

My alcoholic son relapses yesterday (after 5 months clean) and whamo - it was all MY fault.

I wish I'd had a pocketful of "one liners" to throw back at him in defense, but alas, I did not... just chose not to engage in the banter. This morning, it was classic "go about the morning like NOTHING happened". Crazy how they can do that! Rather than fessing up and saying "yep, I fell off the wagon, I messed up, I need more help". Denial all the way around.

Only thing really different is the fact that I didn't react, didn't get sucked into any of the arguments he tried to start. I left it squarely in his court - where it belongs. It took him about 2 hours to finally realize I wasn't playing the game.

Oh, they are so skillful at this game... except when the other party chooses not to play. He finally left, and I have my peace back.

MeredithD1

That difference is GREAT for you - to not get sucked in this time, for the first time. That's even better than the pocketful of one-liners.

LaPinturaBella

They are masters at projection, deflection, lying and manipulation. But you are soooo right, if you stop dancing, stop playing the game, they just completely fall apart. It's a really odd phenomenon isn't is?

Ponder

I can sort of relate. I don't get the "it's your fault" quack. What I get is the "Let's compare addictions rant," because I am a smoker.

It's hard to admit he has a point, the cancer sticks are killing me, but that's my problem to own, and at least a ciggie doesn't turn me into a raving lunatic hell bent on beating up anyone who even looks at him funny.