Relapsed and in AA

Old 06-06-2011, 11:55 AM
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Relapsed and in AA

My Dad was a functional alcoholic most of his life. He worked for the same company for 40+ years. Following a major medical illness that resulted in his sudden retirement, he progressed to an unfunctional alcoholic. He completed rehab and was sober for more than a year. He relapsed around 7 months ago and continues to drink frequently. He attends AA meetings daily and even sponsors someone. I believe his fellow AA friends do not know that he has relapsed. I have talked with him about possibly going back to rehab and he said it's not a good time. I feel like I'm watching him slowly die.
Advise?
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Old 06-06-2011, 12:05 PM
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Welcome to SR. There a lot of good people here going through the exact same type of thing that you are. Read the stickies at the top of the page. There is some great information there. Also, consider going to a couple al-anon meetings.

As for your current problem one of the many things I have picked up here are the 3 c's.

You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it

He will take whatever steps he wants to when he is ready. You can't help him with this problem, it is his.

Keep reading and you will start to learn about detachment and how you can fix you.

I'm sorry for your problems but you have found the right place to help you get better.
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Old 06-08-2011, 05:18 PM
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It's hard to watch, but you do have to take care of you and try not to worry so much about him. That is so much easier said than done, though!
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Old 06-08-2011, 05:29 PM
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My mother is the "A" in my life. Been drinking for 65 yrs (lots & lots) and it continues today, I called her this morning at 10am and she said she was having a small drink! Right!

Believe me,it is a miracle that she is still alive. If I were a betting woman I would have bet that she would have been dead 20 years ago.

So, what I have realized is that I cannot project into the future, I cannot change her and that if I have strong bounderies in place and enforce them, I can be somewhat at peace.

She will die an alcoholic, that is reality, one that I must accept.

Work on you, accept what you cannot change.
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Old 06-09-2011, 12:53 PM
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Your father has his own higher power, his own path in life. All us Alcoholics are sober today ... we ONLY have today. Please take care of yourself ... take the focus off your father and try Al-Anon which will teach you that we are all powerless over people, places and things.
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