ringringrings

I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now. I love him very much and he treats me well. I knew nothing of his history with drugs and alcohol before we met, but he's been in a pretty good place for the past 8 months. But, I've recently been put in an awkward and potentially harmful position.
We decided to move in together in September, when his younger sister moves out, but my roommate bailed on me at the end of May and so of course it's only natural that I move in with my boyfriend and his sister.

However, something's been happening in the last week and a half, and I get the feeling that if it doesn't end soon, it might be the end of us. It started off with my boyfriend having a cold and taking a couple of days off work. And then insomnia struck and he's missed even more work. He says he's just tired, but the way he's acting is frighteningly close to that of someone coming off heroin. I can't imagine he'd be using again (the way he originally explained it to me is he's only ever used when he was already pissed drunk and felt he had nothing left to lose), but whenever I ask him if he's stressed or if something's going on, he seems offended.

When I see him acting like this, it's like he's an entirely different person. His sister sees it as well, and neither of us know what to do or say or think. I can't help but think that if he doesn't get himself together soon, I won't be able to stay with him any longer. I hate to put a time limit on his mental health, but if I move in knowing I'm going to be miserable, that's not really fair to any of us.

I want to be able to believe that things will get infinitely better as they have before, but it seems like if ever there was a time for me to make a tough decision, this would be it.

Pelican

I think you would be wise to listen to your gut.

You are seeing red flags and know that something isn't right. Follow your instincts.

Take care of YOU

dollydo

Welcome, red flags are being waved in front of you. I'd trust my gut. Remember that addicts lie, and always about using.

Keep your eyes and ears open, only believe what you see.

Take care!

Sylvie66

Well, you could put a time limit on your mental health. How long can you handle the awkward situation? What needs to happen for you to feel safe? How can you make that happen for yourself? There are other options besides living with him right now; even if you decide to stay, you'll at least know what those options are.

- Sylvie

lillamy

Ask yourself this: If this was not your boyfriend, if you were looking at a room-mate situation, and the person you were going to share living quarters with behaved like this -- would you move in?

I wouldn't. I'd run the other way.

MyBetterWorld

Looks like your HP made this early move happen.........the universe is letting you know what you are/may be in for!

Thumper

I'm sorry for your tough position.

I will share that when I look back and see pivotal points in time at which decisions were made that had a great impact on my life...each time I look back and felt like I made a wrong decision I was ignoring my gut feeling. I was basing decisions on what I wished was true or wanted to believe or on what he said, not on what he did. I was ignoring the worry, ignoring the warnings, ignoring that little voice that was afraid.

There are a whole lot of things I might tell myself if I could go back in time but a lot of them would not have made sense. What I would say though is 'Listen to your gut, or inner voice. It is looking out for your best interests. Don't shush that little voice with what you want or wish for. Honor it.'