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Peace...It does come in time

Old 06-04-2011, 10:19 PM
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Peace...It does come in time

Thought I should check in with my updates

Lets see, divorce was final, daughter & granddaughter
move back home with me.

Almost 6 months alone in the house
Had some lonely nights, thats for sure
Wondered how the hell I was going to survive without him

Cried over the broken lawnmower, the weeds, the bills
Have been selling as much as I can to pay the bills
The house is still up for sale

Working lots of hours and working in full circles somedays
with my head caught in a freaking cloud
Rejoicing when its 5oclock and time to come home

I need a part time night job...What to do? What to do?
So I got my head thinking, and Im starting to build a website
and will do that from home at nights

The house is no longer quiet with a baby
The kitchen isnt spotless anymore
Dont have time or the patience for the XAH stupid phone calls
anymore. I have moved onto bigger and better things in life.

Daughter snaps at me & I nicely tell her, "Listen up, I respect
your feelings & where you are walking today and I would appreciate
it, if you respect mine. I just divorced that type of behavior and my
life doesnt need that anymore"

My daughter & I have discussed my changes.
She actually approves!...LOL

She asked me, "How come you werent like this when I lived at home?"
Because, "Mommy, was married to an alcoholic"

I still have my days, where I miss the man I married
But I dont miss the days married to an alcoholic.....

I am really working hard on Letting Go & Letting God
I am really digging deep inside of me
And finding all of the bones that I can find
about what it means to Let Go & Let God...
In everything that I do.....

...Im enjoying peace!
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Old 06-04-2011, 10:22 PM
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Originally Posted by BobbyJ View Post
T
Dont have time or the patience for the XAH stupid phone calls
anymore. I have moved onto bigger and better things in life.
This is my favorite part! Congratulations on your progress, you sound really focused on your recovery. I'm so happy for you!
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Old 06-04-2011, 11:14 PM
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Even though you are dealing with another serious situation at the moment, I have to say...YOU SOUND AMAZING!!! Calm, cool, collected, living in the here and now. Way to go Bobby J!!!
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Old 06-05-2011, 05:57 AM
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Old 06-05-2011, 06:30 AM
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BobbyJ, that was a great post.

I still have my days, where I miss the man I married
But I dont miss the days married to an alcoholic.....
This really touched me. It is so true and it is so easy to forget.

Congrats on pulling it together. You made my morning.

Your friend,
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Old 06-05-2011, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by BobbyJ View Post
I still have my days, where I miss the man I married
But I dont miss the days married to an alcoholic.....

I am really working hard on Letting Go & Letting God
I am really digging deep inside of me
And finding all of the bones that I can find
about what it means to Let Go & Let God...
In everything that I do.....

...Im enjoying peace!
Amen to this, sister.

No matter what he thinks, I am so glad I bought this little house for me and my girls. It has changed the course of our lives. Last night, my 17 yr old made dinner and we watched a few episodes of the Law & Order SVU marathon together. It was quiet, calm, peaceful.

This morning, hot coffee, SR, flowers outside my window, watching the neighborhood pyscho squirrel fly from tree to tree, its calm, peaceful.

Looking forward to my weekends again, because I know they will be quiet, peaceful.

We have used the word "oppressed" here in past threads, and I never realized just how oppressed I felt until I got away from it all.

BobbyJ, so happy for you. I hope you continue to remain calm and centered, even in the midst of chaos. Your daughter's decisions were not coincidental...
I think she saw what you were doing and found her strength to do it herself. You are a great role model!
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Old 06-05-2011, 09:09 AM
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We have used the word "oppressed" here in past threads, and I never realized just how oppressed I felt until I got away from it all.
Yup. It sometimes feels like something is "missing" for awhile, but once you start identifying the ways in which your life is better, the stress that is no longer there, you really start to appreciate it. We get so used to the constant drama that it starts to feel normal.
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Old 06-05-2011, 01:31 PM
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We get so used to the constant drama that it starts to feel normal. That statement explains my life...from childhood to now. Drama has been pretty constant and the times it is not there I feel the anxiety... alanon is sure helping me on that one!

BobbyJ you are inspiring!
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Old 06-05-2011, 05:06 PM
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thank you for you message

It's nice to hear your story of success, though you probably think you are not there yet.

I beg to differ.

You successfully left an A and I commend you.

HIGH FIVE GIRLFRIEND.
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