lillamy

I can tell you what antidepressants did for me:

They didn't take away my emotions -- they made it possible for me to function even though I felt despair and desperation.

I still felt everything -- but it didn't paralyze me.

Antidepressants, when you need them, aren't "happy pills" -- they just make you normal.

I do think, however, that without antidepressants, I would have "broken" or hit bottom and left my AH sooner.

Oh, and one more thing: I haven't needed a single pill since I left him.

MissChievous

I'm with you on these TakingCharge.

But as much as I want to, and know I should, I just can't. It takes everything I have just to get out of bed in the morning.

I have been prescribed Cymbalta for lumbar back pain...keep waiting to feel "happier" as they are also an anti-depressant, but nada. As a matter of fact it hasn't helped my back either.

"I had no energy to do ANY of these things..I was a ghost and felt ill." (TakingCharge). That's me also. No energy...a ghost...and feel ill.

And I HATE this, because I HATE pity-partying. I always have felt like i was a strong woman, and it takes a lot for things to get to me. But this thing...it's just defeating me. My only two emotions these days seem to be sadness and anger.

NYCDoglvr

I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for medication for depression. Please don't hurt yourself; see the doctor and talk honestly about how you feel.

MeredithD1

I can tell you my own experience. I have been clinically depressed more than once in my life. I believe that I understand what you are saying, and when I read your words, I remember feeling that way, too. I have suffered two major illnesses in my life, due to stress.

There were times I thought my body would never get healthy again. There were times I thought I would never feel happy again.

In retrospect, whatever was going on in my life - if there was an A in it at the time, or not (I have been depressed/stressed in either circumstance) - I did not see clearly. My cognitive abilities were compromised.

The professional advice I received was to see a psychiatrist for medication - not an MD who is Not specifically versed in psychiatric medication, but a psychiatrist, who is an MD as well as being versed in psychiatric medication - COMBINED WITH psychological therapy. I was told on no uncertain terms that, for clinical depression, this combination is the best. I followed that advice and it worked for me. The medication lifted me out of the dark place so that I could have a little more energy and think more clearly, and the psychological therapy helped me to gain even more clarity.

I did not have to maintain the medication for more than a few months, and I did the therapy for a little while after being weaned off of the medication by the psychiatrist (this is important - there are people who take themselves off medication, and it can be dangerous) to help with the balance.

We are each unique, and my path may not work for you. IMHO you do need a hand - from the sound of your depression, you need some help to figure out your options. I wish you clarity and relief.