m91

my dad has been drinking for a week straight, he wakes up normal but then starts drinking again. im so worried about him, today and yesterday hes been in bed almost the whole day. he has a bottle of hard liquor in his room and he locks himself in there so no one bothers him. i keep trying to talk to him to stop but he just tells me hes going to get better, but he seems worse than when he started.
i really love my dad and have no idea what to do
im trying to convince him to go to the hospital so they could help him but he just keeps telling me hes going to get better but im so scared for him i love him with all of my heart
what can i do? he wont listen to anyone

m91

im sorry i just realized i wrote it in the wrong thread :/ is there anyway i could move it?

m91

hi, yeah my mom lives here also, and im 20 years old... and i posted this again in the correct thread

BackToSquareOne

m91, it's hard to watch our loved ones self destruct but if he doesn't want help it's very hard to force it on him. In the US most counties have social workers called crisis intervention, they're in the blue pages. Don't know how your dad would react if you called them though.

m91

thank you but knowing him, he wouldnt like that at all it could even make things worse.. i just feel the urge to do something, something to make things better but i have no idea what i love him so much and i hate seeing him like this it hurts so much

CheekyAngel

Hey, im sorry you have to be going thru this. Its not easy to see someone we love drinking away and shutting themselves off from the world.

I know i have learnd after trying to get my mum to get help is that she wont. Only will she get help if whe wants it, but unfortunantly she wants to drink and this sounds like your dad too.

If your dad choses to get help he will let you know, until then there is really nothing you can do. Someone told me about the 3 C's and i looked it up. Here is the link - I'm just F.I.N.E.-- Recovery in Al-Anon: The Three C's

Its sad, and i feel for you. Im in the same boat but i have decided to take a step back from trying to help her. I have tried and i was wasting my time and energy. The only thing i was gaining from this was hurt, by wasting my time and energy.

We care and love the A, we wont ever stop. The A cares and loves too, but loves to drink and becoz of that there is nothing more you can do. I hope that you find the strength within you to help yourself and not you dad. As sad as that sounds, you need to look out for you...and you only.

BackToSquareOne

You do know that if he's been drinking for a week he will go through withdrawal/detox and that can be very dangerous.

CheekyAngel

.....

m91

thank you cheekyangel and i am sorry you have to go through the same thing as well, its just horrible

and BacktoSquareOne, that is what i am so afraid of, thats the reason for me trying to convince him to go to the hospital but he refuses and just keeps telling me he is going to get better...

CheekyAngel

See thats the thing he "refuses".

You have made you voice heard, he heard (as much as it prob went in one ear and out the other) and there is nothing further you can do unfortunantly. Its hard, really hard, really really hard...but you have said and did all you can at this stage.

Its up to him to make his own decisions...

Sorry i dont have much more advice to offer, except look after yourself. Talk to your mum about your concerns. This is out of your hands. The persons hands its in is your dads.

As much as you want to help them, help themselves...its up to him to help himself.

m91

thank you cheekyangel... i talk to my mom about it, and she also tries talking to him... but you are right its all up to him even though i wish i could do something about it i just hope he makes the right decision and gets better...
and thank you for the three c's website..

NYCDoglvr

It's tough to understand that the only person we can change is ourselves. It's important that you take care of yourself, even if you have to walk out on your dad for a while. I suggest spending time with friends, at least getting out of the house. It helps a lot to get away from it for a while....