JACKRUSSELLGIRL

So aggravated!! We have talked about the house and the paperwork being signed this Thursday. AH just said I will not sign the paperwork. What do you do in a situation like this? I can not beleive it. I swear it is because of the 23 year anniversary coming up. He wanted to talk and go away and I said no.

Latte

You might have to get a judge involved. My first husband wouldn't sign the divorce papers, so I finally called his girlfriend. Funny how quickly those papers were signed.

Jazzman

My second divorce was not amicable and it didn't look like we were going to agree on anything, so I had to actually file for divorce. Once you do that it starts the clock ticking and the other party has to respond by a certain date.

Cyranoak

You knew this was going to happen, so what was your plan for when this occurred? Like I said before, you stayed, that's what he wanted, staying is staying and they see it only one way.

Now that it's time to sign the papers, he won't sign which is as predictable as the tides. So, whatever the plan was for when he didn't sign, do that.

If you don't have a plan, it's time to make one. Whatever the plan is, it needs to be predicated on the idea he won't sign or cooperate.

Good luck,

Cyranoak

Thumper

Papers to sell the house?

My xah refused to sign too. It was only to make me crazy. I bribed him and paid for a bunch of things myself (that we were supposed to split) just to get him to sign. I wanted it that bad. It was worth it to me to be done so I don't regret that.

Had he refuse to sign all the paperwork we could have taken it to the judge, and the courts would have figued it out. We were in the process of a divorce at the time though, and the profit would have been split 50/50. The thing is, I was the one making the payments on the house and I couldn't afford it so it was important for me to sell it. The loan was in my name only so to forclose it would have tanked only my credit. As far as my xah was concerned, it could sit there forever and not bothered him. The longer the better in his eyes.

wanttobehealthy

Papers for the divorce? Or to sell the house or both? Ultimately, whatever it is he's refusing to sign, that really sucks for you. Why they need to make it as acrimonious as possible is just b.s. I'm really sorry JRG. Stay strong. Your instinct that he's doing this bc you aren't rolling over and going along with the let's pretend things are fine and go away for our anniversary is 100% right. Passive aggressive King baby esque ploy to get his way... Hang in there!

lillamy

Wait? You're filing for divorce and he won't sign unless you go away with him for your anniversary? What universe is this man living in? Oh wait, don't answer that...

I've got one word for you: LAWYER.

JACKRUSSELLGIRL

I got a message from him this morning and he said he will sign the papers and fine we will get divorced. He also said he will not be going to our daughter's graduation party. I guess I could say typical A behavior. I really hope he goes to her Graduation party but it is not in my hands. Her actual graduation ceremony is Friday night, so we will see if he goes to that.

zrx1200R

be prepared for this story to change again. My guess it will. He is starting to realize it is ending, and reacting emotionally. Soon he'll start acting in his own best interest again. Just be ready.

You can not be reasonable with unreasonable people. You can't be honest with dishonest people. You can not be fair when dealing with narcissists.

Thumper

Oh, the divorce. Well, then he shows up in court. My ex pulled the same crap. The sheriff will deliver it, I'll see you in court, whatever. It doesn't matter because this divorce will happen one way or another. :agh:

My xah also tried to use the kids as weapons. Did he not understand that there was really nothing he could have done that would have made it more clear to me that he was not a man I could ever again live with. Nothing he could have done would have made me want to stay married to him less.

Congrats to your daughter. Best wishes for a great day for you and her, no matter what he does.

LaPinturaBella

King Baby is right. "I'm hurt so I'm gonna make you hurt more." Oh grow up already.

I hope he does show for your daughter's graduation and party. That would be directly hurting her if he doesn't go. It will hurt you because you're her Mom and will feel her pain, but she will have that memory of Dad not giving a damn about her on this special day for the rest of her life.

tjp613

I don't know where this came from but I always crack up when I hear it... about someone feeling sorry for themselves....

"Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. Guess I'll go and eat worms."

Yeah. You do that, Daddy-O.

theuncertainty

I'm sorry, but what an a--! I hope your daughter's graduation ceremony and party go without a hitch.

Yep, just because he doesn't sign the paperwork, it doesn't mean the divorce stops. Seems to be a common theme among practicing A's. XAH told his GF that he filed for divorce 'ages ago' and he thought it was final, but apparently I didn't sign, and THAT was why he was still married and didn't know it.

I'm not sure who I find more naive / delusional: XAH for coming up with the story, or his GF who believed it, and who went through her own divorce a few years before.

Best wishes and hugs!

Seren

:rotfxko OMG my mother used to use that one!!!!

A friend of mine likes "Would you like some cheese with that whine?"

LaPinturaBella

"Those thin, slim, slimey ones, short, fat juciy ones, itsy bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms!"

Sorry, I couldn't resist finishing the song. LOL