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Why did I think today would be different?

Old 05-31-2011, 04:23 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
"daddy told me to draw him that way because you maked him sad" (grammar is hers!). Who knows if he actually said that (I'd guess he did) but it just made me sad to see that even something innocent like kids making a card, gets turned into manipulation by him...
What an A$$wipe!!!

I'm so glad you had a nice day after all. Now, here is MY wish for YOU...

I hope that every single birthday from this day forward is happy, joy-filled, stress free and absolutely absent of manipulation and idiotic behavior!!!!!!

7
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Old 05-31-2011, 04:34 PM
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Originally Posted by LaPinturaBella View Post
What an A$$wipe!!!

I'm so glad you had a nice day after all. Now, here is MY wish for YOU...

I hope that every single birthday from this day forward is happy, joy-filled, stress free and absolutely absent of manipulation and idiotic behavior!!!!!!

7
Yeah the part of today that pissed me off the most was that he manipulates, without conscience, the feelings of a 5 yr old to suit his needs.

Truth be told, D5 was sad and kind of withdrawn all day and I can't "prove" it but I am sure his BS and the **** he said to her really impacted her.

He doesn't deserve to be a father.
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Old 05-31-2011, 05:39 PM
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Happy Birthday, WTBH. I'm glad it turned out much better than it started and that your kiddos had some one to take them out to do a nice little something for them mom!

My sister and brother-in-law have been the ones to take DS shopping for my birthday presents or the makings to for gifts and cards the last few years. Besides being such a nice feeling to get something that I didn't shop for myself as a birthday present after YEARS of doing that because of XAH's studied 'forgetfulness,' DS has loved being able to go out a pick out a little surprise. The absolute worst was the year I believed XAH when he said he'd take DS shopping and then seeing DS's confused and hurt blue eyes when his cousins handed me little handmade gifts and cards and DS didn't have anything to give. (And this was when we were under the same roof.)

You don't need to carry any embarrassment over the re-capped empties. That's all on AH. He's the a--hat who pulled the delusional and juvenile stunt.

Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
Florence- I nearly peed my pants laughing at the Tom Selleck cake!!!! LOVE it.
What gal wouldn't love a Tom Selleck cake?

Happy birthday!
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Old 05-31-2011, 07:27 PM
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[QUOTE=wanttobehealthy;2985932]I had a wonderful rest of my day.


One minor blip. I offered my brothers a beer and it turned out that the bottles that have been sitting next to the fridge, untouched ( I thought ) that AH said he didn't want to toss and I wasn't about to toss them now that he's not living here-- well, all the bottles were empty but had been recapped. It was really awkward and my brothers made a joke of it and no one knew what to say and it was unsettling bc I didn't really know what to say. It's like there was a huge elephant in the room and no one wanted to touch it.


WTBH,
Happy Birthday dear! I am so glad that it ended on such a happy note, you deserve that and more. And I wish you many more happy ones, with your sweet girls.7

One thought tho, I cant resist. I had to laugh, forgive me, at the recapped bottles. I am sure that it was embarrassing, but it really made him look pretty dumb!

I really like the card idea too. the kids would probably love that, to make one of their very own creations for their wonderful mom.
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Old 05-31-2011, 09:35 PM
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Sounds like he wanted to be the center of attention on YOUR day!

Happy Birthday!!!
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Old 05-31-2011, 10:42 PM
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Don't they ALWAYS want to be the center of attention??? It doesn't matter who's day it is. ROTFLMAO.
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Old 06-01-2011, 03:24 AM
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Originally Posted by theuncertainty View Post
The absolute worst was the year I believed XAH when he said he'd take DS shopping and then seeing DS's confused and hurt blue eyes when his cousins handed me little handmade gifts and cards and DS didn't have anything to give. (And this was when we were under the same roof.)

You don't need to carry any embarrassment over the re-capped empties. That's all on AH. He's the a--hat who pulled the delusional and juvenile stunt.
D5 said something this morning that made me realize what it is she might've been upset about yesterday... She said "why didn't you let me help you open your presents?" I said that I didn't have any to open but if I had of course I'd have let her. And she looked sad and said "I didn't know how to get you a present"... I almost cried. I told her my cards and pictures from her were the best present ever (and they were). THEN (it's been a rough morning already) she said "will I have presents to open on my bday?" so I assured her yes and said that when grown ups get older they don't get presents the same way kids do.

It didn't even occur to me yesterday that D5 would be confused/sad about the non-presents on a bday. It didn't phase me at all but now that I think about it, I know how excited the girls have been in the past to give me things that AH would have them pick for me and I imagine they were confused... I feel bad for them for having such an a$$ as a father....
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Old 06-01-2011, 03:25 AM
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[QUOTE=chicory;2986148]
Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
One thought tho, I cant resist. I had to laugh, forgive me, at the recapped bottles. I am sure that it was embarrassing, but it really made him look pretty dumb!

Yup, it did make him look like an a$$ and I didn't think of that! The golden boy image is eroding. Am I awful that this makes me a wee bit happy?!
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Old 06-01-2011, 05:02 AM
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WTBH-
maybe you could tell the girls that you thought of something you would like- maybe you could make some cookies(even the ready to bake-slice and bake -type) and they could decorate them for you as you do something else (sprinkles or some cake icing and little deco bits are not too messy or difficult), and they could wrap them in a box or something (provide bows, stickers, etc- they will be proud of their lovely creations) and surprise you. that would make good memories for them, and for you too. it is so beautiful how children want to give to the ones they love.

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Old 06-01-2011, 05:05 AM
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That's a great idea Chicory.... I couldn't think of much to say bc I really wasn't upset about the gift thing but knowing that it made D5 sad, made me sad... Thanks for your ideas!
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Old 06-01-2011, 10:51 AM
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
It didn't even occur to me yesterday that D5 would be confused/sad about the non-presents on a bday. It didn't phase me at all but now that I think about it, I know how excited the girls have been in the past to give me things that AH would have them pick for me and I imagine they were confused...
I'm having a really hard time with things like this right now. DS has never had to go to his father with empty hands on birthdays, Valentine's Day, Father's Day or Christmas. The urge to ignore Father's Day is so frickin' strong! It'd be the first year ever. Why bother since he has never bothered for Mother's Day?.... I can't do that though... I want to, but no....

It's not that I want to get XAH a present (because believe me, he wouldn't appreciate what I'd like to throw at him these past few years), it was always so DS could be excited and happy about giving. It's usually little things like drawings, handmade bookmarks, fingerknit trinkets, etc.

It has always been DS's gorgeous eyes as he makes the surprise and then waits excitedly to be able to give it. He's the worst for keeping present secrets. "Mom! Guess what I made you! No, wait! I won't tell you, but remember that beautiful yarn? Well, I made... No. It's a surprise! ... OK! Wait! Forget this tomorrow: I fingerknit a hairband for you! You'll like it! It's awesome! OK, forget I said now!"

XAH's response to the gifts has been to say "Oh, thanks, Buddy! I'll keep it forever" and then purposefully drop it as DS turns around to run to the car. GRRRRRRR. But, DS sees, even if he doesn't say anything to his father.

Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
I feel bad for them for having such an a$$ as a father....
Yep, I understand this feeling.
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Old 06-01-2011, 04:13 PM
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Originally Posted by theuncertainty View Post
I'm having a really hard time with things like this right now. DS has never had to go to his father with empty hands on birthdays, Valentine's Day, Father's Day or Christmas. The urge to ignore Father's Day is so frickin' strong! It'd be the first year ever. Why bother since he has never bothered for Mother's Day?.... I can't do that though... I want to, but no....

It's not that I want to get XAH a present (because believe me, he wouldn't appreciate what I'd like to throw at him these past few years), it was always so DS could be excited and happy about giving. It's usually little things like drawings, handmade bookmarks, fingerknit trinkets, etc.

It has always been DS's gorgeous eyes as he makes the surprise and then waits excitedly to be able to give it. He's the worst for keeping present secrets. "Mom! Guess what I made you! No, wait! I won't tell you, but remember that beautiful yarn? Well, I made... No. It's a surprise! ... OK! Wait! Forget this tomorrow: I fingerknit a hairband for you! You'll like it! It's awesome! OK, forget I said now!"

XAH's response to the gifts has been to say "Oh, thanks, Buddy! I'll keep it forever" and then purposefully drop it as DS turns around to run to the car. GRRRRRRR. But, DS sees, even if he doesn't say anything to his father.



Yep, I understand this feeling.

You nailed it... It's seeing how excited the kids are to have something special to give that matters and AH has never ever understood that (whether it's a friends' bday, father's day, mother's day-- though AH didn't address that either for the girls sake this year but fortunately D5 made something at school that she was dying to give me and got to have that excitement of giving me something)

I want to ignore Father's day altogether too but I don't want to punish the girls bc their father is a poor human specimen (I won't even say man). So, I will take them to find something for him bc that will matter to them. Not bc it will matter to him.
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Old 06-01-2011, 04:27 PM
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The urge to ignore Father's Day is so frickin' strong! It'd be the first year ever. Why bother since he has never bothered for Mother's Day?.... I can't do that though... I want to, but no....
Ugh. See, they usually make something for Mothers Day at school. Now they're not -- and there's nobody around them reminding them of Fathers Day. Unless I do it. I'm really having a hard time not thinking "well, AXH is the one who was always pissed off about Mothers Day being a Fake Hallmark Holiday Created For People To Make Money so maybe I'll just forget about Fathers Day, too?"....
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