15 styles of distorted thinking
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15 styles of distorted thinking
This just floored me with its accuracy when it comes to the As in my life. After a week of focusing on myself, my recovery, someone sent me this and I just need to share it with you all.
niveous
BUT as much as it describes my AXH, I also see it as a good reminder to myself. Of thinking fallacies to avoid. I especially have to watch out for this:
niveous
BUT as much as it describes my AXH, I also see it as a good reminder to myself. Of thinking fallacies to avoid. I especially have to watch out for this:
5. Catastrophizing: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start “what if’s.” What if that happens to me? What if tragedy strikes? There are no limits to a really fertile catastrophic imagination. An underlying catalyst for this style of thinking is that you do not trust in yourself and your capacity to adapt to change.
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I love this. I use the word a lot - but can honestly and humbly admit I can never pronounce it correctly on the first try!
My therapist reminds me of this often. It is a conscious effort to pull myself back from the "what ifs" and go with the flow.
My therapist reminds me of this often. It is a conscious effort to pull myself back from the "what ifs" and go with the flow.
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my downfall is number 2. "if im not perfect, im a failure".
i feel like to accept that this relationship just isn't going to happen just means I failed. i know, logically, there's nothing i can do. he's an alcoholic with mental problems and he makes his own choices... but it's like, i feel like if i I/our relationship were perfect--then there wouldn't even be a choice but to choose perfection.
i dont know how to stop this thinking--i've probably been a perfectionist my entire life... and it's gotten me through more than two decades of great accomplishments. and now, it's brought me this downfall... i can't shake the feeling i did something wrong or there was something else i could have done or could still do. ugh, i hate that.
i feel like to accept that this relationship just isn't going to happen just means I failed. i know, logically, there's nothing i can do. he's an alcoholic with mental problems and he makes his own choices... but it's like, i feel like if i I/our relationship were perfect--then there wouldn't even be a choice but to choose perfection.
i dont know how to stop this thinking--i've probably been a perfectionist my entire life... and it's gotten me through more than two decades of great accomplishments. and now, it's brought me this downfall... i can't shake the feeling i did something wrong or there was something else i could have done or could still do. ugh, i hate that.
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I loved reading through the 15 ways I have gone through life 
The one I most identified with was personalization. Recovery from codependency helped me realize less than 1% of hurtful things done to me are done to intentionally hurt me - but I took everything as such.
This helped me realize that while incredible painful, XABF did not set out with an intention to hurt me - and it helped me to forgive him (along with step 4 )
The one I most identified with was personalization. Recovery from codependency helped me realize less than 1% of hurtful things done to me are done to intentionally hurt me - but I took everything as such.
This helped me realize that while incredible painful, XABF did not set out with an intention to hurt me - and it helped me to forgive him (along with step 4
)
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Most codependents also engage in the "heaven's reward' thinking. They expect all their sacrifice and effort put into the alcoholic is going to pay off at some point, and they feel resentment when it doesn't.
That one cracks me up. Expecting to get rewarded for helping an alcoholic is like expecting to get rewarded because you helped push the train to make it go off the cliff faster.
That one cracks me up. Expecting to get rewarded for helping an alcoholic is like expecting to get rewarded because you helped push the train to make it go off the cliff faster.
Originally Posted by lillamy 
This just floored me with its accuracy when it comes to the As in my life. After a week of focusing on myself, my recovery, someone sent me this and I just need to share it with you all.
niveous
BUT as much as it describes my AXH, I also see it as a good reminder to myself. Of thinking fallacies to avoid. I especially have to watch out for this:
niveous
BUT as much as it describes my AXH, I also see it as a good reminder to myself. Of thinking fallacies to avoid. I especially have to watch out for this:
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
lillamy - I read this yesterday but had to rush off and bookmarked it to read again. Thank you for sharing. This is an area I am working on as I move from anger to forgiveness...similar to what cagefree describes...I recognize a lot of my thinking is just as distorted as the RAH's. That's my side of the street to clean up. And I refuse to carry it forward any longer. This list is great! A good reminder to have handy.
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