Divorcing and moving on...

Old 05-27-2011, 09:51 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Chicago, IL
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Divorcing and moving on...

Wow, I haven't been on the forum in a little while as I have been VERY busy, but it seems like a lot of people are doing what I have been doing and filing for divorce!

A little background, I quit my corporate job about two years ago to stay home, my husband made very good money so I thought we'd be fine. Once I started to stay home, it became apparent to me what an alcoholic he is! He also started drinking more once I was home. He had a lot of detoxes, went to rehab, made us all completely crazy and ultimately quit working. Really, he pretty much just up and told his clients he was unable to work anymore. I put up with a lot, but this was the final straw. The last thing I could count on him for was to support our two small kids and he could no longer even do that.

I filed for divorce and put our house on the market. Amazingly, we got an offer last night after we'd had it on the market one week! What a huge blessing. I am hoping to move by July 1, as long as my AH doesn't give me too much trouble about signing papers, etc (which I am nervous about). I am moving 1.5 hours away by family and I am going to need to find a job. This is very scary but I have to hope for the best.

My AH is in a detox center again after spending weeks drinking in motels and is lashing out at me because he is now realizing how much he has screwed up his life and burned his bridges. He lost all his clients, his parents won't let him stay with them anymore and he will pretty much have to go live in a sober house (which I really hope he does) or under a bridge. He is trying everything in his arsenal to make me feel bad for divorcing him because he is scared to death. It is really not easy going through all of this. I am trying to be no contact but I can't completely cut him off because I want the house sale to go through. He blames me for everything, accused me of a ridiculous affair, thinks I am divorcing him for no reason and basically acts like the world's biggest victim. He doesn't see how we are the "victims", my son having to leave his beloved school and friends, my kids losing their father, me losing what used to be a good husband, I feel like he died even though he's very much is hard. I hope someday he gets well enough to understand.
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Old 05-27-2011, 10:06 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Ladybug0130 View Post
I hope someday he gets well enough to understand.

That statement right there shows so much compassion, while staying detached.

Good for you for taking care of yourself and the kids. Keep on keeping on and all things will work out okay!!
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Old 05-27-2011, 11:05 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
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The "D" word must be in the air...Mine was complete today..

Wish my house would hurry up & sell...

Sounds like we were almost married to the same guy...LOL
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Old 05-28-2011, 08:27 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by BobbyJ View Post
The "D" word must be in the air...Mine was complete today..

Wish my house would hurry up & sell...

Sounds like we were almost married to the same guy...LOL
We all WERE married to the same guy! The first time I went to an Al-Anon meeting and sat there listening to other people talking, that's what struck me most strongly--we were all married to, or loved in some way, the same exact person but with a different head.
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Old 05-28-2011, 09:35 AM
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My STBXAH got served his divorce papers last week! I consider it my "spring cleaning"!

Nothing says "detach" like "divorce".
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