XXXXXXXXXX

What are your thoughts on a program that offers the following:

"At your 1 year anniversary, you are done. You are recovered. You have taken the steps necessary to take your life back. You are no longer identified by your addiction. You are a mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a son, a daughter, a husband, a wife, a worker, a friend, You have succeeded. You are not your addiction. You really never were."

XABF sent me an email with the website for this place, not a 12 step program, not a lock down. Private suite, all alcoholics and no drug patients, you get your cell phone and lap top, you get to check out in the evenings if you want. Swimming pool and hot tub LMAO. 2-3 weeks in and then they send you home with a webcam for support. And they brag about no meetings.

I didn't respond, it's really none of my business except that I really would like to see him doing better.

Anyone have any knowledge about places that promise that you can be Recovered? What are your thoughts on this? Can one be Recovered with a D?

wanttobehealthy

My AH went to a few weeks of something called 12 in 12 this fall... the deal was that you "do" all the steps in 12 weeks and then you're "cured".... Seemed ridiculous to me and he went for 3 weeks and said it seemed ridiculous to him too. People just read the steps and the leader said something like "does everyone agree we've completed the step" and everyone said yes and it was on to the next step.

I think that he went to it thinking that it was a quick fix, easy solution and when his couple weeks netted him "nothing" (in his estimation) he gave it up.

Tuffgirl

10X - You should keep the money spent on what you described for a trip to a spa of YOUR choice for putting up with the A, and send him to AA with 90 one-dollar bills for his 90 meetings in 90 days.

Freedom1990

I don't have any thoughts on a "program" like that. I know what worked for me, and in the end, that's all that counts!

gerryP

As a 'recovered alcoholic, I believe if the individual really, truly and sincerely wants to quit drinking and stay stopped, standing on one's head spitting nickels WILL work.

Taking5

As a friend in AA told me once after a relapse, there is no step that says "and then we re-gained power over alcohol".

GettingStronger2

Through the Grace of God and the 12 steps of AA, i am a recovered alcoholic. Yes, we can be recovered. Not cured, recovered. In fact, that is exactly what the Big Book tells us its purpose is in the forward to the first edition.. .to show exactly how the first 100 recovered from a seemingly hopeless state. You do the work, you live the program and you can recover.

Not sure about the program you described, i have no knowledge of it.

suki44883

I'm reminded of the adage....If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

BHF

The treatment centers that I have found beneficial were those that provided a program of actually working the 12 steps while in treatment. They go through each step in detail. It's hard to do this in a 30 day treatment, much less 2-3 weeks. The reason this was important was because if I didn't do the steps while in treatment, I wasn't gonna take the initiative to do it when I got out. They also had a sponsor lined up for me when I was released and had me call him before I left. Again, I wouldn't have done this on my own.

I don't believe that any true alcoholic can be fully recovered after one year sober to the extent that they do not need any further support or meetings. It's not about just keeping the alcohol out of my system for one year. I have to change the way that I think and react to the circumstances and situations that I encounter everyday. Some people do accomplish this and wean themselves from meetings, but in one year? Too risky for me.

underoath

I don't know... what I do know is that drinks/drugs are but a symptom of the real problem, and it requires constant work to "recover" from that problem... once you stop working the problem resurfaces and inevitably will lead the person back to using/drinking (they might can stay sober, but it's a miserable kind of sober). I know that in the program that I am in, I was told that there is no graduation. Just my 2 cents

LexieCat

In theory, you can be "recovereD" once you have worked the Twelve Steps honestly and thoroughly.

You really don't have to go to an expensive spa to do it. But heck, if you've got the money to throw around, I'd go someplace tropical and join a good AA group there.

LifesALongSong

My AW went to a very well respected in patient treatment center well over a year ago that advertised saying 77% (lucky 7's ?) of its clients fully recover. Grant you she only did the 21 days of the 30 day program because of insurance/money reasons. Found out she was one of the longer stays than most. Very few were able to afford the full 30 day program. We still had to pony up a few $ thousand for her 3 weeks. She was'nt ready, just going thru the motions to please the family I'm guessing.

Well, 4 jail stays since and in right now. She told me yesterday while at jail that she met someone in jail that was at the same treatment center from before. Small world ! Wow 77% ? Are you kidding me ? Yep !

Like the good folks in recovery right here say "its not going to happen, till you want it", thats a 100% recovery !

Congrats to you all that figured this out ! Just wish the wife could some day.

KittyP

From a scientific perspective people can absolutely be recovered. As long as the drinking has not resulted in permanent brain damage there is no reason that within time the GABA(b)ergic regions of the brain, which is the part of the brain where the physical dependency lies, fully repair. This can occur within a year to a decade. It depends on numerous factors. But the physical side of addiction, the injury or "disease," can be completely recovered from. There is also a psychological side to addiction and yes, some people can also recover fully from that too.

As to whether or not the rehab your ex sent you the details of can help people recover is debatable. The addiction industry is huge and highly profitable, desperate people with the money/insurance to cover it will try anything and a lot of people/companies will take advantage of that. If you ex really wants to recover a rehab like this may be something that really helps him. If your ex is looking for a "miracle" solution or trying to impress you with no real intentions of making the necessary effort to stop drinking then it will just be a waste of money.

lillamy

I think maybe we need to look into a SR Friends & Family Gathering in Hawaii...

barb dwyer

Ads like that appeal to the alcoholics and addicts initial thinking -

and that is -

"I want to stop the madness but I dont want anything different to happen"

kind of attitude.

and it works for them
They're rich and getting richer.

it's all about the commercialism, IMO.

stilllearning

I'm a wordsmith so I got some great food for thought out of this question - thank you X. I use the word "recovering" to describe my approach to dealing with alcohol and my experience as the child of an alcoholic. This is what the online dictionary says about that word:

v. re·cov·ered, re·cov·er·ing, re·cov·ers

1. To get back; regain.
2. To restore (oneself) to a normal state: He recovered himself after a slip on the ice.
3. To compensate for: She recovered her losses.
4. To procure (usable substances, such as metal) from unusable substances, such as ore or waste.
5. To bring under observation again: "watching the comet since it was first recoveredfirst spotted since its 1910 visit" (Christian Science Monitor).
v.intr.
1. To regain a normal or usual condition, as of health.
2. To receive a favorable judgment in a lawsuit.

First up, it's a verb and I think that fits perfectly. Verbs are action-oriented "doing" words - so I'm "doing"something.

1. To get back; regain.

For me, I'm regaining my life - alcohol and my experiences as an adult child hadn't left me with much of one when I started recovery.

2. To restore (oneself) to a normal state: He recovered himself after a slip on the ice.

I'm undoing some pretty heavy family conditioning - that "normal" state is a work in progress as I try to learn what normal actually is.

3. To compensate for: She recovered her losses.

I'm coming up on six years sober and each year I'm still "getting back" things I lost to the diseases of addiction and codependency.

4. To procure (usable substances, such as metal) from unusable substances, such as ore or waste.

I'm getting a usable (manageable) life out of a life that wasn't manageable.

5. To bring under observation again

This one is the clincher - I am always going to be an alcoholic and a codependent. If I could be "recovered" I wouldn't have to watch out for warning signs.

I only need to take one drink, or try to control one other person's life instead of my own to end up in a world of pain again. I learned two years ago when I started seeing an active alcoholic that I can be back in that painful place again faster than you can say "12 step meeting."

For me, it was a wake-up call that I'm going to have to -actively- keep my diseases under observation for as long as I'm breathing. That's recovery - there is no "recovered". You can't be a "recovered" diabetic, either - it's a condition that you manage by keeping it under observation and actively managing it.

Take what you like and leave the rest - I know that some people prefer to refer to themselves as "recovered" - which I think indicates a process that's complete. That's their business. For me, using a word that means "still underway" reminds me that I'm in a lifelong process and can't afford to take my eye off the ball. This isn't an indictment or an imposition - it's something that I need to do if I want a productive, peaceful life that's worth living.

Peace out,

SL.

Justfor1

The program sounds like a great place to recover. At least he is ready to try something. Not sure why some people think treatment should be all about punishment. If you have the money why not try this? It can't hurt.

yeahgr8

That sounds great...so its like getting an absolute fresh start without the addictive behaviour, tendencies and personality...after that year i would just be a "regular joe" got to be worth a pint to celebrate:-)