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Where's the thread on Quacking? I have more

Old 05-23-2011, 03:41 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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As for quacking -- oh, so many to choose from, but I won't delve too deeply into my memory at the moment because AH is out of money and can't drink until Thursday, I'm loving it . Most recent one that cracked me up:

H: "If I left, (insert child's name here) would die of neglect. You never do anything and only think of yourself."

Me: "Then why did you have a baby with me?"

H: "You're sweet and caring, patient, and a great mother."

Me: "So how would she die of neglect if I were the only one to take care of her?"

H: "How dare you suggest I wouldn't take care of my own baby!"

And to think that I used to get so upset about the quacking and think everything he said meant I really needed to fix something.
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Old 05-23-2011, 07:01 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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WTBH... I'm sorry I didn't mean to down play your situation. I guess I am just too focused on mine. I know you are going through a lot, really too much. I really hope you are able to find a new job and that things will work out good for you. You are a very strong women and you have made good choices and will continue to do so.

I want to be in a good place for myself and my kids. If my AH can not find recovery and become what I need him to be I feel I have no choice but to get my affairs in order. I have to get life stable for all of us. I am not ready to pull the plug yet, but I know I need to start thinking about what I need to do if I do in fact life takes me in that direction. Thankfully I have a few contacts in my career I left 11 years ago. Very recently one of them has been encouraging me to return to work. I think God placed her back in my life when I really need her. She has no clue what is going on here at home but her comments are coming a good point in my life. She could be in a good position to help me get a job. I hold a college degree and I did work in my career field for 10 years before I became a stay at home mom. The thought about going back is pretty dang scary, but I also feel that if I do go back it will be okay. Just big changes for all.

AH has been reading SR and my comments. Let's just hope he is reading all of yours too. I think he could really learn a lot about how it is on the other side of this disease.
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Old 05-23-2011, 08:09 PM
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did you find the QUACKERs thread....i am so glad that my thread is still going...and thank you all for keeping the POST UP

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-quackers.html
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Old 05-23-2011, 08:16 PM
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One month of co-habiting with my soon-to-be ex-AH (yippee!) and he's been smoking weed and drinking beers like they were going out of style, buying all his meals from restaurants (even though he's thousands in debt) and I've lost the energy to clean up after him (the smells in this apartment - good god!)

I'm only doing this because you're leaving me. I've got nothing to look forward to.
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Old 05-23-2011, 08:23 PM
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^^^^^ go ahead into the QUACKERs thread . we all learn a new line or two
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Old 05-23-2011, 10:14 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Alone22, I've been a SAHM off and on for the last 12 years(and even when "off" it was only part time, I worked fulltime at a daycare for the first 3 years of my son's life, he came with) Right now, I'm doing office cleaning, but a new call center(for a cable company)is opening in September, and I'll either go apply there, or at an existing call center(multi-state bank) in town. I chose to apply for the job I'm doing because it didn't require me to think too much, if that makes sense? I could've gone straight to the one call center, but with this summer having the potential to be very stressful, I didn't want to deal with trying to schedule appointments, hearings, etc around work hours. I work from 5-9, with occasional other hours(like an upcoming party at the office)

However, I am aware that not every area of the country has low unemployment like I am blessed with here. that, plus the low cost of living is what is going to help me out.
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Old 05-24-2011, 01:39 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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HAHAHA! Reminds me of an argument back in Feb about my exabf's drinking.

We'd been broken up for a couple of months, but still talking. His weekend binge drinking was upsetting me and we argued about it. He said, well what's my incentive to quit drinking if you won't be with me?

I couldn't believe it. I said, you need to do this for yourself. He couldn't understand why I'd be upset about him drinking if we werent' together anymore. Um, hello..because it's gonna kill you?

Originally Posted by Alone22 View Post
If I dare suggest that I expect him to behave as history shows he will, I get told that bc I am so convinced he's going lie/drink/break promises etc... I create the very thing I want to avoid. WTBH this very conversation happened at my house this morning almost word for word! I told him I have very little hope that things will change. His response was something like "why should he even try to change if the likelihood of me believing it is so low". I pointed out to him that he should want the change for himself and how I respond to it or not should not be a deterrent from him wanting to do it. He either wants to be sober and recovered or he doesn't. Whatever I do, think or feel should not change his desire. I know how true recovery works now....they have to want it for themselves. BTW he quit drinking 2 weeks ago on Mother's Day when I told him he could not come with us to our family event.
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Old 05-24-2011, 06:16 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Alone- Oh my gosh, you did not down play my situation at all! Sorry if I came off as if I thought that... It's great that you have contacts from your career still-- that's huge... I think that networking is key when job searching.

If your AH is reading SR, that's hopeful I'd think... At least in comparison to my AH that is, who tells me I'm insane for talking to "losers" on line... Nice guy.


Originally Posted by Alone22 View Post
WTBH... I'm sorry I didn't mean to down play your situation. I guess I am just too focused on mine. I know you are going through a lot, really too much. I really hope you are able to find a new job and that things will work out good for you. You are a very strong women and you have made good choices and will continue to do so.

I want to be in a good place for myself and my kids. If my AH can not find recovery and become what I need him to be I feel I have no choice but to get my affairs in order. I have to get life stable for all of us. I am not ready to pull the plug yet, but I know I need to start thinking about what I need to do if I do in fact life takes me in that direction. Thankfully I have a few contacts in my career I left 11 years ago. Very recently one of them has been encouraging me to return to work. I think God placed her back in my life when I really need her. She has no clue what is going on here at home but her comments are coming a good point in my life. She could be in a good position to help me get a job. I hold a college degree and I did work in my career field for 10 years before I became a stay at home mom. The thought about going back is pretty dang scary, but I also feel that if I do go back it will be okay. Just big changes for all.

AH has been reading SR and my comments. Let's just hope he is reading all of yours too. I think he could really learn a lot about how it is on the other side of this disease.
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Old 05-24-2011, 08:25 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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He is reading because he is snooping into what I am saying. He fully admits he is an A, has for 8 years. He has found recovery for short periods but nothing on a long term basis. At this point I just don't have much hope left that things will change. Maybe there is a miracle coming but I sure can't plan on that. While my AH is reading here I sure hope he is also reading the A's page of those who are on their way to recovery. Thanks again to all for the support!
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