skippernlilg

So, just as I said, I did not respond to the previous email message from ABF when he said, "I'm drinking. You don't want that around <<<child's name>> so wanted me to leave. I understand that and frankly don't have the heart any more to argue about it or what color a cloud is."

Just now, I received another message from him, "I read it back just now. That was kind of harsh. I didn't mean it like that. Sorry."

I won't even respond.


This is a prime example of how he has conversations with himself, and sometimes he can be decent enough, I guess. But seriously, he does this a lot. And then somehow in his mind, it's a conversation *with* me that *we* never had. Just him.

And now I can see why a lot of you have decided to go completely NC.

I chose not to ask him for some of the things he took that were really mine or to ask about things I must've misplaced or just anything. I'll figure it out on my own.


I've had an 'open door policy' up until now, and I thought I would be fine with it. Brush it off. You know. It's all just very confusing. Still thinking all this through.

Plus, I'm having a great time going through the little smiles list here. These are cute!

LaPinturaBella

LOL Skipperling. Yes they are cute!

It sounds like you are doing just fine. I went NC too and it really helped me to think through everything and see it through reality rather than through the manipulation I was getting at every turn. And franly, I think it was the best thing I've ever done for myself.

Enjoy the peace and meditation. It helps to show you the path that is meant for you.

Freedom1990

It's like picking a scab off of a wound over and over. Been there, done that, got that t-shirt many times.

When I left my violent psychotic EXAH (now deceased), I didn't go no contact. I would answer the phone because that was back in the day before caller ID was in existence, but I wouldn't get off of the phone either while he chewed me up and spit me out.

My sponsor suggested one day that perhaps I hang up on EXAH, that I did have the choice not to engage with him.

It was so incredibly difficult the first time that I did that, and I sat there horrified thinking I should call him back and apologize for hanging up. Fortunately I sat on my hands and did not call him back.

It got easier each time and eventually he quit trying to contact me.

I have no problem these days filtering emails from toxic people straight to the trash, including my own dad.

You have a choice to keep engaging or not, and that does include reading emails from him.

zrx1200R

yep. That's what they do. You can not be reasonable with people who are unreasonable. So why bother?