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Arggh, Part Deux

Old 05-21-2011, 03:12 PM
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Skipper
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Arggh, Part Deux

So, just as I said, I did not respond to the previous email message from ABF when he said, "I'm drinking. You don't want that around <<<child's name>> so wanted me to leave. I understand that and frankly don't have the heart any more to argue about it or what color a cloud is."

Just now, I received another message from him, "I read it back just now. That was kind of harsh. I didn't mean it like that. Sorry."

I won't even respond.


This is a prime example of how he has conversations with himself, and sometimes he can be decent enough, I guess. But seriously, he does this a lot. And then somehow in his mind, it's a conversation *with* me that *we* never had. Just him.

And now I can see why a lot of you have decided to go completely NC.

I chose not to ask him for some of the things he took that were really mine or to ask about things I must've misplaced or just anything. I'll figure it out on my own.


I've had an 'open door policy' up until now, and I thought I would be fine with it. Brush it off. You know. It's all just very confusing. Still thinking all this through.

Plus, I'm having a great time going through the little smiles list here. These are cute!
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Old 05-21-2011, 03:18 PM
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Originally Posted by skippernlilg View Post
Plus, I'm having a great time going through the little smiles list here. These are cute!
LOL Skipperling. Yes they are cute!

It sounds like you are doing just fine. I went NC too and it really helped me to think through everything and see it through reality rather than through the manipulation I was getting at every turn. And franly, I think it was the best thing I've ever done for myself.

Enjoy the peace and meditation. It helps to show you the path that is meant for you.
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Old 05-21-2011, 03:22 PM
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Originally Posted by skippernlilg View Post
I've had an 'open door policy' up until now, and I thought I would be fine with it. Brush it off. You know.
It's like picking a scab off of a wound over and over. Been there, done that, got that t-shirt many times.

When I left my violent psychotic EXAH (now deceased), I didn't go no contact. I would answer the phone because that was back in the day before caller ID was in existence, but I wouldn't get off of the phone either while he chewed me up and spit me out.

My sponsor suggested one day that perhaps I hang up on EXAH, that I did have the choice not to engage with him.

It was so incredibly difficult the first time that I did that, and I sat there horrified thinking I should call him back and apologize for hanging up. Fortunately I sat on my hands and did not call him back.

It got easier each time and eventually he quit trying to contact me.

I have no problem these days filtering emails from toxic people straight to the trash, including my own dad.

You have a choice to keep engaging or not, and that does include reading emails from him.
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Old 05-22-2011, 01:51 PM
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yep. That's what they do. You can not be reasonable with people who are unreasonable. So why bother?
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