Financial Practicalities
 

I've got a practical question:

3 years ago, as a present, I got us a car, because my credit was good. The deal was that I would take $200 out of the rent I paid him and put it toward 'his' portion of the car payment. I was responsible for the rest of the car payment and the insurance. (I didn't take him off the insurance for the DUI, since he went through the county program and it wasn't registered as an offense with the DMV).
Now, I've moved out. I don't use the car very much, about once a week; he uses it for work. It's mildly inconvenient.
I was using my rent $ to pay for the car payment. Now I pay almost 2.5x the rent, plus the full car payment. I don't think this is fair, and yet, I got the car for him to use for work.... I'm not sure what would be fair. Ideas?

I think I'll offer him several deals:

1. he can take over the car payments and get his own insurance.
2. he can give up the car completely and get his own car and insurance.
3. I can give him some cash to get his own car, since this was originally a type of present.
4. I can give him the car and continue to make payments ...NOT! :rotfxko
5. ?????

I'm open to your ideas! Thanks!


- Sylvie

I would go with option number two.

If he wants the car have him come up with enough cash to pay off the loan (not make the payments) and put the car in his name. He can worry about the insurance.

money train
 

If the car is your in your name be upfront with him- I can't afford the car or his insurance anymore. If he offers to and actually makes payments for now go with that. If he can't afford it or all of it perhaps sell him the car for the remaining payments and transfer the car in name to him.

moved out?

If your relationship is basically over I would sever financial ties as soon as possible so there's no excuse for him to be in the picture.

i vote for he gets his own car. compensate him if you feel to for the 3 years rent reduction, although he has had use of the car for those three years, so in my mind, it's even already.

best not to have any ties whatsoever with an alcoholic...and certainly, don't have them on your insurance policy!

I pick door #2. He is a big boy let him do his own thing.

Do NOT offer to let him keep the car and make payments on YOUR loan.

His choices are:

1) Get his own loan and buy the car from you
2) Give the car back to you, you sell it and close out the loan... and he goes and gets his own car.

That's it. Expecting an alcoholic to make good on payments on a loan in YOUR name is a recipe for disaster.


P.S. I say this because I JUST went through this with my AH... except it was ME that has use of the car. I tried to get a loan to refinance the joint one under my own name (buy AH out)... miles/age were too high to refinance... so I traded it in and bought a car just for me, with only MY name on it. It's simple, clean, and permanently cuts the financial tie.

Thank you all for your quick answers! I went to lunch with him and brought up the car issue. He said 'I'm a bit floored by this - you sound like you're not going to be coming home for a long time.'
Where's the duck icon? I have spelled it out to him. I have been clear. It's really not my problem if he refuses to understand what I said yesterday : "After you've been totally sober and working on your stuff for a year, and you still want me, we'll talk about my moving back." Yesterday. He didn't say anything after that, but apparently that wasn't clear enough for him. I think I'm getting frustrated.

About the car: it's entirely in my name. I don't need it, we have a carshare program in town that would completely satisfy my requirements. Since my rent went up by so much, it actually makes a LOT of sense to sell the car.

I think I'll crunch the numbers and offer him to do a complete buyout. Thank you all so much!!

(Sorry about that annoying quacking noise.)

- Sylvie, also, apparently, going through a midlife crisis. No, really.