nervous for the visits
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 174
nervous for the visits
I hate the ups and downs! I feel depressed one minute, happy the next..and most of all I am happy! Love that I am able to do this on my own and I am truly enjoying my kids. BUT...I feel soooo lonely..That when we were outside yesterday and exA passed by (we live on a main road) I almost had this feeling of wanting to be together again! That quickly changed, I know it will never work or be healthy for us to ever be together.
My kid's havent seen their dad in a while..like 3 weeks..the last time he was supposed to see them he decided not to because I told them he needed to be with his parents to see the kids. His mom said he was mad about that and that is why he didn't visit them. SOO anyways, my kids haven't asked for their dad or grandma until yesterday my D4 asked if she can visit grandma's house. I wasn't sure if I should have her call or not but I did let her and she asked to go over there. Now I am nervous because I am dropping them off with their grandma which means I have to go face to face with the lady who calls me a lousy mother and worthless. She was weird and all fakey happy on the phone when I was talking to her about the time. I haven't spoken with her for a couple weeks and she probably doesn't know the information about our bank account and the fact that he IS drinking again. After she was denying it and saying she whole heartedly could tell he isn't drinking and he has been doing soooo good!
We found a tiny place to rent and will move there next month, the landlord was really nice and said we didn't need to sign any contract to the amount of time we will spend there. It's a small town and so he knows my situation and probably realizes that the place is quite small for us.
Things are calming down and it feels just weird-almost like I am craving some...craziness. ugh I got to switch that thinking and ENJOY the calm days and the summer and having no school right now.
My kid's havent seen their dad in a while..like 3 weeks..the last time he was supposed to see them he decided not to because I told them he needed to be with his parents to see the kids. His mom said he was mad about that and that is why he didn't visit them. SOO anyways, my kids haven't asked for their dad or grandma until yesterday my D4 asked if she can visit grandma's house. I wasn't sure if I should have her call or not but I did let her and she asked to go over there. Now I am nervous because I am dropping them off with their grandma which means I have to go face to face with the lady who calls me a lousy mother and worthless. She was weird and all fakey happy on the phone when I was talking to her about the time. I haven't spoken with her for a couple weeks and she probably doesn't know the information about our bank account and the fact that he IS drinking again. After she was denying it and saying she whole heartedly could tell he isn't drinking and he has been doing soooo good!
We found a tiny place to rent and will move there next month, the landlord was really nice and said we didn't need to sign any contract to the amount of time we will spend there. It's a small town and so he knows my situation and probably realizes that the place is quite small for us.
Things are calming down and it feels just weird-almost like I am craving some...craziness. ugh I got to switch that thinking and ENJOY the calm days and the summer and having no school right now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Hugs, Lindsey. Is there anyone you could trust to help you with drop off so you don't have to deal with either of them? I finally accepted that there is no healthy way for me to deal with the drop off times with XAH and his visitation supervisors right now. My sister and BIL are handling it for for a while. Well, it's only been one weekend so far, but after the last time I had to deal with XAH....
I also accepted an invitation from a friend to walk around downtown shops with her. It was a great day, both for spending time with a friend and as a distraction from worry.
BTW, you're a great mom! Don't listen to his mom.
I also accepted an invitation from a friend to walk around downtown shops with her. It was a great day, both for spending time with a friend and as a distraction from worry.
BTW, you're a great mom! Don't listen to his mom.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 52
I would see if you could have some one else do the drop offs as well. That way you would not have to see your ex or you mil. I know how weird it feels to be so calm. The first month after I kicked out my ah the house so was so quiet. I had a really hard time getting used to it. Things do get better though as time goes on.
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