Trying to change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 205
Trying to change
Well my daughter needs a car to get back and forth to college in Sept. My husband applied for a loan at work and was denied due to credit history - past tickets never paid for. He said if he was declined he would go to his father for the money and now doesnt want to. I am not getting a loan to have over my head and he starts drinking again and I lose everything. When married to an A even if in recovery you always have to worry about the what ifs. Some days / most days it just sucks.
I can still get so angry and hate that. I say things I shouldnt and still strugle somedays with just letting it go and letting him handle
I can still get so angry and hate that. I say things I shouldnt and still strugle somedays with just letting it go and letting him handle
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Burnsville, MN
Posts: 966
The lingering effects are hard to deal with. For me, being able to share in my AlAnon and NarAnon meetings and here on SR help to lessen to anger, pain, frustration.
What are your daughters other options? Ride share, public transporation, summer job to earn money towards a car??? It is sometimes hard to start thinking outside the box when I'm angry with the situation my son's addiction had caused.
Good luck.
What are your daughters other options? Ride share, public transporation, summer job to earn money towards a car??? It is sometimes hard to start thinking outside the box when I'm angry with the situation my son's addiction had caused.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 205
You are right to think outside the box was angry is so hard for me. I think I am going to let her father talk to her cause I am not going to look like the bad guy. I work very hard to try to give my kids a "normal life" and just a little sick a delivering the bad news to them.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Many normal kids don't bring cars to college. It's perfectly acceptable to get rides from friends or take the bus or the train.
In my case, i wanted a car. So I got a job and bought one with my own money.
There's so many options.
In my case, i wanted a car. So I got a job and bought one with my own money.
There's so many options.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2011
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 205
That is does I am working on getting my financial situation in order that is why I dont want to add a loan to it. I am hoping to have everything in order within 6 months to a year. Which will be a great thing for me. My kids are 15 and 18 so not much longer to go with them financially too.
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