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Old 05-18-2011, 05:12 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the lite salad dressing, errr, support info. I'lll ask her tomorrow. She gave me her cell and said call anytime (cha ching for her) but I think I can wait and email her tomorrow!

Darklight- like gb said... glad that had a happier ending for you-- I told my H that (many times) and clearly we know how that worked out...
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Old 05-18-2011, 05:37 PM
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I'm sorry, I'm laughing at what your AH wrote not because it's funny but because, thee alcoholics have so much in common.

My exabf used to write cr*p like that all the time. I felt a rush of familiarity that made me giggle.

"I look back and see how much of the early part of our relationship was spent as "J** out partying" and at the time I didnt I get why you would ev en be p*ssed. I think I now understand. You wanted a relationship. You wanted someone who you could trust, some one you could count on to be there when you needed them. Kinda like when I needed my car jumped. Imagine j**, to drunk or f*** up whatever, to come and pick you up, jump your car, or keep you warm. Why would I do that to someone? I'm all about "the friends" than why the h*ll would I be like that? It was selfish. .....I've always been the one to learn the hard way. I always felt it made it easier to retain information. You burn out quick that way. Maybe that's why I give up on s**. I see something that I'm going to make harder than it has to be, so I don't bother. When I go out and drink, or eat s***y food, or stay up late and sleep all day, and waste beautiful days like this weekend laying in bed, I'm only hurting myself."

Guess what he did 4 days after writing this? Got wasted with his buddies and sent me stupid drunk texts.

Yup...funny



Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
AH sent me this email today. We have no money for him to buy himself a motorcycle as his new solution to what ails him. And he's wrapping up "being honest" in telling me what he wants/needs to have fun in his life.

I don't want to respond... But I don't want him running off and buying a bike with money we do not have.

His brother, also an alcoholic thinks that moving to a new town will make life better and AH rants about how sick his brother is. Ummmm, hello? Buying a motorcycle as a solution to why you're unhappy?

I'm angry and fed up and sick of dealing with a child in a man's body. The self centeredness, the narcissism, the immaturity... I have had it with all of it. I am trying to figure out how to make it so the girls can go to camp a few days a week this summer and all he cares about is HIMSELF.

I could care less if he ever recovers at this point-- I just want to stop dealing with the juvenile behavior.

He has NO clue how insane this reads below and thinks this is him "working" the program. Interesting how none of his solutions involve AA.


i had a bit of an epiphany after my appt and the mtg i went to - i am trying to fill the void of fun and feeling good with beer, which will create misery and feeling really bad. i expect u to expect some basics from me - honesty and love. unfortunately, i have felt that i could give love and be dishonest at the same time, but that is an impossibility. So u wanted me to be honest - i want to be honest, so here goes: i would like to do a few things this summer will give me more purpose, camraderie and fun and these include: playing soccer, getting a motorcycle i can fix up and this will help me to not drink. i feel like i can moderate my drinking for a time, and it has been tempting for me to try to learn how to drink moderately... i dont want to drink moderately. i enjoy too much having several beers on an empty stomach and feeling the rush of a buzz. it isnt healthy, and it is dangerous for a variety of reasons. Am i struggling, yes. I am VERY sorry for lying to u, again, and i am tired of running and hiding my double life. i am imperfect andf i need to b ok w that.
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Old 05-18-2011, 05:41 PM
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Didn't work for me either. My exabf just rushed back to his drunky pothead exgf.

Originally Posted by GettingBy View Post
I'm glad that worked out for you...

Didn't for me. I was told to go to hell... and then he cracked a beer open.
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:38 PM
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Oh My God!! They are all the same...such idiots! I'm so sorry for you, for me, for all of us!
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:53 PM
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Mine has bought three different drum sets and several types of exercise equipment/gym memberships to "help" him quit...yeah, something's missing, buddy, but that ain't it! I'm sure you'll be shocked to find out he's still throwing back at least a dozen a night!
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:04 PM
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I have always tried to have a mindset of "it" working or not working not necessarily being tied to the results of the other person coming back, going back to another ex-BF/GF, or anything like that. I view whether or not "it" worked strictly by how I am doing. Am I in a good place? Am I healthy? I know I am doing great if my health and happiness is not tied to another person.

Changed attitudes can aid recovery -- MY changed attitudes can aid MY recovery.
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Old 05-19-2011, 08:04 AM
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Ding ding ding... new crop of promises- I'm more entertained now than anything bc I can see it's quacking instead of banging my head against a wall trying to change him...

The new solution du jour is quitting smoking (which he'd supposedly already done). Smoking is making him want to drink. He's going to white knuckle it-- just needs to make it 3 days without a cigarette and he'll be fine.

Bets on how that's gonna turn out?! I think it's a re-run, I've already seen this episode and know how it turns out.
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Old 05-19-2011, 09:20 AM
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OK, I can do you one better.

Motorcycle? Peanuts.

AH is planning on having a memorial service for his mother who will be dead one year in August (have no idea why he feels it's necessary other than it's a great excuse to get morose and drunk). His latest kick is Susan Boyle (he's Scottish and I think he feels a connection, and inspiration from her)

He tells me today that he actually called her manager and says that for $14,000 she'll come to the US and sing a song at his mother's service.

I don't even have a comment. Just want to make you feel a little better, WTBH.
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Old 05-19-2011, 09:34 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SoloMio View Post
OK, I can do you one better.

Motorcycle? Peanuts.

AH is planning on having a memorial service for his mother who will be dead one year in August (have no idea why he feels it's necessary other than it's a great excuse to get morose and drunk). His latest kick is Susan Boyle (he's Scottish and I think he feels a connection, and inspiration from her)

He tells me today that he actually called her manager and says that for $14,000 she'll come to the US and sing a song at his mother's service.

I don't even have a comment. Just want to make you feel a little better, WTBH.

I realize this is not a laughing matter, but reading the ridiculousness of others really drives home how, well, ridiculous this is...

Susan Boyle! Wow. At least the motorcycle you get to keep...
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Old 05-19-2011, 10:20 AM
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oh I think we should all be laughing out loud. this is awesome stuff.
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Old 05-19-2011, 10:34 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Solo- Was thinking about your H's idea... How about a CD of Susan Boyle and you go to the service in a disguise that makes you resemble her and lip sync? Much cheaper option, no!
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Old 05-19-2011, 10:45 AM
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
Much cheaper option, no!
Depends upon SoloMio's prices. I figure a performance like that would be worth ~$7,000, right?
That's enough to pay for a lot more nice time in codie rehab.
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Old 05-19-2011, 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted by StarCat View Post
Depends upon SoloMio's prices. I figure a performance like that would be worth ~$7,000, right?
That's enough to pay for a lot more nice time in codie rehab.
I knew my college degree in theatre would come in handy!! Now I just need a trip to the Salvation Army for a "wee frock" and a lot of eyebrow pencil. That $7000 will buy me a nice encore at codie rehab!
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Old 05-19-2011, 11:37 AM
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Can I be your agent and then can my "cut" be an invite to codie rehab for a weekend!!!
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Old 05-19-2011, 11:46 AM
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
The new solution du jour is quitting smoking (which he'd supposedly already done). Smoking is making him want to drink. He's going to white knuckle it-- just needs to make it 3 days without a cigarette and he'll be fine.
Ah yes, the smoking-drinking connection. I remember this. XAH tried to get me on board by asking me to buy him the patch, which is rather expensive, to get through the cravings. He also used his quitting smoking to justify buying a new violent video game that he could "lose himself in" to distract himself from the cravings.

And of course, (and here's the kicker), whenever he felt a craving that was "too much to handle", I had to immediately get down on my knees and give him....Well, you get the picture. And I couldn't just give him...what he wanted...I had to "look like I enjoyed it" by adding appropriate sounds and expression.

Needless to say, XAH is still a smoker.
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Old 05-19-2011, 08:46 PM
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Mine started dipping to help him through "quitting", which, of course, didn't stick, so now we have both. And now, lo and behold, dipping "makes him want to drink", so he can only quit if he quits both, which is just "too hard!" Can you hear the quacking from here?!?
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