julier

I am new to the forum, dating a recovering alcoholic for 7 months (he has only been in recovery for 6 weeks). He lives in another state so I only see him a couple times a month. I was single for a long time before meeting him, fell in love, etc. Not to go into all the details but he is doing well in recovery, has been a lot of ups and downs for me wondering if I truly want to be with him after this, etc. Since we were fairly new in our relationship and he lives out of state his drinking has not really affected my life other than the OMG factor of finding out about it and the trust issue for letting me believe he was okay and falling in love with him when that was not true. I do understand why he didn't tell me, but still struggle with that.
I love him and truly believe he loves me. He is working his program completly and fully involved in it. One of my questions is our sex life used to be really great, drinking or not. That seems to have gone away and he is having a hard time getting an erection. Is this normal? I am trying not to take it personal but that can be difficult. I am sorry if this is not appropriate to ask on here, just not sure where else to go with this. Not sure what to do with any aspect of my life with him right now. When I am with him it is very good (besides the sex thing), and we are happy together. The problem is when he leaves I start to doubt it all. This is all so confusing and emotionally draining.
I would appreciate any advise. I feel like I am losing my mind since I can't seem to figure out what I want for me anymore.

StarCat

Welcome to the forum!

From what I have read, that is one of the common side effects of alcohol, yes.

Alcohol really does a number on the alcoholic's health, in many respects. My XABF (ex alcoholic boyfriend) had worse problems breathing, because it took his already existing problems and exacerbated them. He also dehydrated quickly, since whiskey causes dehydration to begin with, and he'd drink that instead of the water his doctor kept insisting he needed to drink.
I also have a friend at work who has diabetes now, due to his time as an alcoholic. When telling people, he introduces it wryly as "one of the many 'gifts' alcohol gave to me."