A "good god" quack!
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
Well, that's where I disagree-it's like that famous case from the 60s - Kitty Genovese. Her neighbors heard her being stabbed and murdered, and no one called the cops. They could've saved her life if they had. If you could have possibly saved a life by your actions, and you don't do anything then I feel, yes you are culpable.
That being said, of course, if you don't know where he is when he's driving drunk, logically, there is nothing the cops can do. However, if you know what bar he's at-he texts you and says he's on the way home-for me, I'd have to call the cops.
That being said, of course, if you don't know where he is when he's driving drunk, logically, there is nothing the cops can do. However, if you know what bar he's at-he texts you and says he's on the way home-for me, I'd have to call the cops.
Originally Posted by GettingBy 
If I knew for a fact it was happening, I would report it. Without details (ie. where his is/driving, if he is in fact drunk, etc) - I think calling the police would be a waste of their valuable time. I could call and say, "My husband is out drinking, he's going to be coming home and driving on x,y,z roads to get home." Would they do anything with that?
That all being said...
I think that's a slippery slope to "not live with yourself" because of what someone else choses to do. If my AH choses to drink and drive, and something terrible happens - that's COMPLETELY on him... not me. Ever. Period. I do believe in my civic duty to report law breaking, but if I don't... doesn't mean I'm culpable.
That all being said...
I think that's a slippery slope to "not live with yourself" because of what someone else choses to do. If my AH choses to drink and drive, and something terrible happens - that's COMPLETELY on him... not me. Ever. Period. I do believe in my civic duty to report law breaking, but if I don't... doesn't mean I'm culpable.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
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Originally Posted by GettingBy
I think that's a slippery slope to "not live with yourself" because of what someone else choses to do. If my AH choses to drink and drive, and something terrible happens - that's COMPLETELY on him... not me. Ever. Period. I do believe in my civic duty to report law breaking, but if I don't... doesn't mean I'm culpable.
I don't know what laws are around non businesses, but I'd rather call than risk being responsible in any way for knowing that my H was drunk and drove and I didn't notify the police.
Again, I am not a lawyer but it seems that there is room for holding individuals culpable in a case like that... I'm not saying it's right or I agree-- just thinking about what's possible.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
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Originally Posted by Cyranoak
A recovering alcoholic I know who's been sober for decades was sober for several years before working the steps. He tells the story that one day his wife told him he should start drinking again because he was more of a ***** sober than he was drunk.
That was his bottom. That's when he fully engaged with AA, that's when he started working the steps, and that's when his life began to improve. You would never, not even for a moment, believe that the incredible leader he is in our recovery community (and has been for over 30 years) was a miserable, angry, drunk.
It really does work IF you work it.
Take what you want and leave the rest,
Cyranoak
That was his bottom. That's when he fully engaged with AA, that's when he started working the steps, and that's when his life began to improve. You would never, not even for a moment, believe that the incredible leader he is in our recovery community (and has been for over 30 years) was a miserable, angry, drunk.
It really does work IF you work it.
Take what you want and leave the rest,
Cyranoak
I saw a man accept a 25 year coin. He still attends meetings at least once a week, and this year is the first year he has been sober longer than a drunk. He radiated a calmness and confidence that was very appealing. I met a man with terminal lung cancer. His first chemo treatment was that Friday. And he said he was grateful to be at AA on Saturday, because it was another day to celebrate his good choices and he may not have many of those days left in life.
I heard a young woman say with pride that she was able to fill a last minute shift at work over the weekend and how proud her supervisor was of her - that she was sober enough to do something like that. It was a first for her, and she was so proud of herself.
This is what people in recovery sound like, folks. They are moving in the right direction, each and every day, one day at a time. That is the only thing acceptable to me from my RAH. And that's why I am proceeding on with the divorce. Like you, Shannon, he continues to blame the problems in his life on our "marriage". He is still dry drunking me. And I am sick to death of it!
Not acceptable!
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