Wanted to share
 

Hiya guys,
I wanted to share my experience last night 'cause you're the only people I can really tell - I think anybody else would be just about horrified. Me? I just laugh.
So here it is:
I'm trying to separate from my husband, though there are some financial and legal issues that are making that difficult right now though I AM looking for an apt. We're in our early thirties, no kids.
So, last night he gets drunk and he's walking around the apartment asking me if I'll give it another shot, how much he wants babies with me interlaced with how horrible I am, haven't done anything with my life, etc., etc. Anyway, he passes out (thank G-d!) and at 2 or 3 in the morning he gets up and vomits all over the bathroom I had just finished cleaning and our nice futon couch!

And he wants babies!!!! :rotfxko

Some of you may think this is some SICK humor, but I've been through the horrible gut wrenching-ness of moments like these. Now I just think it's Hil-LAR-ious!

They're ridiculous, aren't they? Yeah, having children together would keep you tied to him for the rest of your life. He knows that. Good luck on finding an apartment.

Hahaha, I know how you feel, sometimes we just have to laugh at the insanity of it all.

My ex would do the same things. He had all these ideas of how he wanted to just get married, and have kids, and then everything would be fine. That's when he would become more responsible, and get his stuff together, fix his finances, start taking care of himself. He actually told me all this once, that he was waiting until after we had kids to do these things. I just had to laugh, because he really thought the words coming out of his mouth made sense, and that I would think that was marriage material.

Every time he started one of these 'conversations' about how "we're not getting any younger Kitty, it's time for me to settle down and become a father", it just helped me see even more clearly that he wasn't a healthy partner choice for me. Our ideas of acceptable, mature behavior are so different, and it wasn't worth the argument anymore. Trying to make him see that he was still a child himself was a moot point.

When I left, he was actually mad at me because he was researching engagement rings, and was going to pop the question this summer, and I was ruining it all. The fact that I had been telling him for months that I wasn't happy with how things were, none of it ever sunk in. It was almost insulting to me that he thought I was naive enough to marry and reproduce with him, but that's just more proof of how sick he is I guess.

Thanks for sharing, now I don't feel so bad when I laugh at things my A used to do!

Glad you can see the humor in it! Way better than letting it ruin your day!

Just think - you'd have all that and babies too.

Horrifyingly hilarious!

Mine listened solemnly to me on visiting day while he was in rehab, as I explained to him how much his behavior had hurt me, and how when he got out I wanted to go backwards in our relationship, and work on rebuilding the lost trust. I informed him that my good feelings for him were no longer romantic love, but more the goodwill you have towards a neighbor, and that if we were going to continue forward as a couple then that had to be addressed and rebuilt, as well. He looked hurt, but respectful, so I thought he actually was listening.

Until immediately afterwards he got down on his knees on the concrete rehab floor and started to propose. I cut him off before he could finish the question, to which he replied, "I understand. You want it to be special... Would you like me to get you a ring?"

There's no getting through to these people.
I went no contact the next day.

The sad thing is how many women actually go ahead and do this thinking it will "cure" their alcoholic, or that somehow these people will make good parents.

Good God. Un****ing believable.

Cyranoak

Starcat, I laughed out loud at your post. That's how I felt with my ex. We try to explain, and make them understand like crazy, break it down like we are talking to a three year old, and they still don't get it. And usually blame our "lack of communication skills" for any misunderstandings!
:crazy