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He cant understand why he got DIVORCE PAPERS?

Old 05-13-2011, 12:40 PM
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He cant understand why he got DIVORCE PAPERS?

OMG...
Over the past few months. I have told him every reason
why, down to how much the pissey toliet seat bugged me.

The papers were suppose to be sent back into my state by the end
of today.

He texted me and said he will not sign them until I give him a reason
why.......

OMG...I think today, I will start to drink myself (just joking)

Now, it goes into court, big money cost for me. He will have to fly
back here for that and lawyer said, court dates are set out until
this fall.....

Praying, that he will have a couple of more drinks today
and sign them by 5pm....
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Old 05-13-2011, 12:43 PM
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I add my prayers to yours...but I'd be tempted to be snarky and respond "I'm divorcing you because you're an alkie and I won't live with that"...BUT it's probably best to stay out of that discussion because it'll be pointless.
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Old 05-13-2011, 12:57 PM
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I have said exactly that to him...Along with "YOUR A DRUNK"

I think that was pretty clear...lol
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Old 05-13-2011, 12:59 PM
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No matter how clear you were, heck even if you had it written in the sky with smoke right above his house, he'd probably STILL wonder "Why oh WHY is she divorcing a catch like ME??!!"
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Old 05-13-2011, 01:03 PM
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A catch like me? ...(A vision of a big vodka bottle belly gut )



Couldnt find an emotion of me laying on the floor laughing my butt off!!!
So I used that one instead...
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Old 05-13-2011, 01:05 PM
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Can anyone say control issues?! I find it amazing at how easily they can distort reality, over and over again. My RAH actually said, AGAIN, just a few nights ago, that he doesn't understand why I moved out. I went back over all the emails I have sent him and realize of course he understands. He read these emails. I am sure he still has them. So now when he asks me redundant questions, I refer him to everything I put in writing, beginning in May of 2010. It's all there, every answer to every stupid question. Now I no longer have to waste my oxygen saying the same thing over and over again.

Hang in there, BobbyJ. This will be a tough one, but you'll look back and be glad you did it.

~T
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Old 05-13-2011, 01:09 PM
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I think it is typical A reaction. Once again they do not GET IT!!

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Old 05-13-2011, 01:23 PM
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Amazing aren't they??!! I sure hope he comes to his senses and signs the paperwork and makes it easy. Good luck!
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Old 05-13-2011, 01:37 PM
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No matter how clear you were, heck even if you had it written in the sky with smoke right above his house, he'd probably STILL wonder "Why oh WHY is she divorcing a catch like ME??!!"
Yup. Next, wait for the "you were always a lousy wife, but I'm such a generous guy that I'm going to give you a second chance to come back and do it right this time."

And you know what Willie Nelson said? You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they're worth it.
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Old 05-13-2011, 01:45 PM
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OMG...He started calling my customers!!! and friends this afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Asking them,
WHO has been at the house?
WHO is she sleeping with?
WHO is the lucky queer?

Then calls my work & leaves a message: I will NOT stop calling everyone until you tell me why and how you are sleeping with???????????

(( Me sleep with someone, are you freaking kidding me?)) I would rather scrub
toliets...

WELL GUESS WHAT....As of 5/13/11...I shut his phone OFF!!!!

Now the 2 year cell phone contract, gets transfered over to a college girl who could
really use a free phone plan.."She is happy" and "She is a non-drinker"
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Old 05-13-2011, 01:51 PM
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OH MY! That is horrible! Good for you for shutting off his phone! Sounds like a man... you must be getting sex somewhere, can't simply be that you are just done with him and his issues. Rather scrub the toilets!!!! NOW that is funny! He must look like such an ass to all those people he called.

Hang in there... hopefully some day very soon you will be totally free of this crap!
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Old 05-13-2011, 02:01 PM
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Originally Posted by nodaybut2day View Post
No matter how clear you were, heck even if you had it written in the sky with smoke right above his house, he'd probably STILL wonder "Why oh WHY is she divorcing a catch like ME??!!"
Oh ain't that the truth!!! I got a whole lot of THAT going on in my house!!
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Old 05-13-2011, 02:05 PM
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Originally Posted by BobbyJ View Post
WELL GUESS WHAT....As of 5/13/11...I shut his phone OFF!!!!


Good for you! Enough is enough. I'm sure he'll throw more crazy around but at this point I'd be all "Bring it Sucka - I am FINE. I am putting one foot in front of the other and your small and crazy games will not stop ME." In my head of course. I think you don't utter one peep to him ever again. That is the best thing because it keeps you out of the crazy and he's left wallowing around knee deep all by himself.

Hang in there.

Originally Posted by Alone22 View Post
He must look like such an ass to all those people he called.

Hang in there... hopefully some day very soon you will be totally free of this crap!
Exactly. Keep your level head Bobby J. He'll self destruct and you'll be free one way or another.
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Old 05-13-2011, 02:14 PM
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Oh yeah, I forgot that step.

The "clearly you're sleeping with someone else because that's the only explanation for you not wanting to remain married to such a fine specimen!"

Do they print these instruction manuals on the inside of 24-packs of beer or something?
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Old 05-13-2011, 02:18 PM
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And now I feel bad for laughing.
Because it really isn't funny. It's tragic.
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:14 PM
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OMG I have been through this too.

Trying to get someone to actually see what really happened, by sending them emails and IMS..

"Do you not see that YOU said this??"

Then you know what he would say: "Stop throwing my words back in my face, Sandra!"

Last example was about what we broke up over. On Mar 15 he was telling me he missed me, was sad without me, etc., and asked what did he need to do to be with me. I said "stop drinking." and did what my therapist said to do, to tell him DO NOT CONTACT ME UNTIL YOU GET SOBER.

When I stupidly broke no contact w him we argued about why we broke up. Now he's written history to "I gave up trying. It was too much for me, I bent over backwards trying to be what you wanted"...etc.

If I was still caught up in the craziness of the disease I wold've re-sent his text messages from that day back to him but of course, I realized, it's pointless.

AAAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Originally Posted by Tuffgirl View Post
Can anyone say control issues?! I find it amazing at how easily they can distort reality, over and over again. My RAH actually said, AGAIN, just a few nights ago, that he doesn't understand why I moved out. I went back over all the emails I have sent him and realize of course he understands. He read these emails. I am sure he still has them. So now when he asks me redundant questions, I refer him to everything I put in writing, beginning in May of 2010. It's all there, every answer to every stupid question. Now I no longer have to waste my oxygen saying the same thing over and over again.

Hang in there, BobbyJ. This will be a tough one, but you'll look back and be glad you did it.

~T
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:49 PM
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((((BobbyJ)))) some of these smilies might just do the trick?
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Darklight View Post
A former sponsor of mine often said, "Recovery is for those who want it, not those who need it."

Me likes that quote...thanks for sharing that one!
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Old 05-13-2011, 06:45 PM
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Originally Posted by lillamy View Post
Yup. Next, wait for the "you were always a lousy wife, but I'm such a generous guy that I'm going to give you a second chance to come back and do it right this time."
Hey, I got this one!
He's going to give me a second chance, he said.
So I asked him about all the second chances I had already given him, and what should I do since he used them all up and I don't have any more second chances to give him.
"Yes you do! Don't lie to me!" he says.

They must have a manual.
I didn't get the "sleeping around" one - he insisted on being next to be 24/7/365 - but I did get the "Why don't you go back to your old boyfriend, he must have been a real keeper!"

I think they write these manuals on the bottom of all the cans and bottles of liquor. Maybe that's why XABF always had to finish them off so quickly, he couldn't wait for the next installment of relationship advice.

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Old 05-13-2011, 07:18 PM
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Originally Posted by sandrawg View Post
When I stupidly broke no contact w him we argued about why we broke up. Now he's written history to "I gave up trying. It was too much for me, I bent over backwards trying to be what you wanted"...etc.
I got that one, too! "I tried to be the man you said you wanted" What? Seriously? I said I wanted THIS?

UGH...pointless.
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