asking for good vibes for strength
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Had a lightbulb moment yesterday. And yes, I have known this on the outside, but the light just got through the black hole that is my mind.
The main reason I have such a hard time (putting it mildly) making my son leave in order to face the consequences of his life is that I am just as sick as he is!
Yup- I am sick too. Never accepted that fully, I guess.
hugs
chicory
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
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(((chicory))), it felt like an earthquake when I realized that. I shared it with my RAD a couple of years ago and she tried to use it against me one time. I told her to please feel free to heal me. When she said she couldn't, I said I can't heal you either, we have to heal ourselves! That was the end of that.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: By a River
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Most of us know exactly what you are speaking of...it's called codependency. Helping someone to continue to self-destruct is not support, it's codependency. He has no reason to change if he doesn't suffer consequences for his behavior. You are doing the right thing...as hard as it is.
Hugs.
Hugs.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
Making difficult changes doesn't mean giving up hope. And for some of us, the thinking too far ahead sets us into a panic. I know it does for me. The fears take over and I have a whole story in my head of how it will play out.
Just that you are thinking about it and knowing that things the way they are cannot continue is a HUGE HUGE step in the right direction and you will know what to do when you are ready to do it.
Go easy on yourself. This is hard.
Just that you are thinking about it and knowing that things the way they are cannot continue is a HUGE HUGE step in the right direction and you will know what to do when you are ready to do it.
Go easy on yourself. This is hard.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Originally Posted by Babyblue 
Making difficult changes doesn't mean giving up hope. And for some of us, the thinking too far ahead sets us into a panic. I know it does for me. The fears take over and I have a whole story in my head of how it will play out.
Just that you are thinking about it and knowing that things the way they are cannot continue is a HUGE HUGE step in the right direction and you will know what to do when you are ready to do it.
Go easy on yourself. This is hard.
Just that you are thinking about it and knowing that things the way they are cannot continue is a HUGE HUGE step in the right direction and you will know what to do when you are ready to do it.
Go easy on yourself. This is hard.
Yes, I do that! I think of what and how , and then my brain starts a panic. I just think the worst, and do not have faith in any good that may come. I have always been one to overthink things, to analyze things. guess I am not qualified, as my school was the one run by alcoholics-lol!
I have absolutely accepted that I am sick and stuck in it. The three A's that Anvilhead mentioned- Awareness, Acceptance and Action- now I have to figure out action. And I believe that I will have to get to some meetings, or to the mental health center. I called them awhile back,got on their waiting list, and never heard back . that has been two months at least.
This is purely a toxic situation- I can see and hear it with every exchange we have. Everything I say comes from a place of fear, anger, or simply control. So, that aint gonna work!
This group is a blessing in my life.
hugs
chicory
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