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asking for good vibes for strength

Old 05-21-2011, 03:26 AM
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Had a lightbulb moment yesterday. And yes, I have known this on the outside, but the light just got through the black hole that is my mind.

The main reason I have such a hard time (putting it mildly) making my son leave in order to face the consequences of his life is that I am just as sick as he is!

Yup- I am sick too. Never accepted that fully, I guess.

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Old 05-21-2011, 09:48 AM
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(((chicory))), it felt like an earthquake when I realized that. I shared it with my RAD a couple of years ago and she tried to use it against me one time. I told her to please feel free to heal me. When she said she couldn't, I said I can't heal you either, we have to heal ourselves! That was the end of that.
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:41 PM
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Most of us know exactly what you are speaking of...it's called codependency. Helping someone to continue to self-destruct is not support, it's codependency. He has no reason to change if he doesn't suffer consequences for his behavior. You are doing the right thing...as hard as it is.

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Old 05-21-2011, 07:28 PM
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Making difficult changes doesn't mean giving up hope. And for some of us, the thinking too far ahead sets us into a panic. I know it does for me. The fears take over and I have a whole story in my head of how it will play out.

Just that you are thinking about it and knowing that things the way they are cannot continue is a HUGE HUGE step in the right direction and you will know what to do when you are ready to do it.

Go easy on yourself. This is hard.
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Old 05-22-2011, 02:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Babyblue View Post
Making difficult changes doesn't mean giving up hope. And for some of us, the thinking too far ahead sets us into a panic. I know it does for me. The fears take over and I have a whole story in my head of how it will play out.

Just that you are thinking about it and knowing that things the way they are cannot continue is a HUGE HUGE step in the right direction and you will know what to do when you are ready to do it.

Go easy on yourself. This is hard.
Babyblue,

Yes, I do that! I think of what and how , and then my brain starts a panic. I just think the worst, and do not have faith in any good that may come. I have always been one to overthink things, to analyze things. guess I am not qualified, as my school was the one run by alcoholics-lol!

I have absolutely accepted that I am sick and stuck in it. The three A's that Anvilhead mentioned- Awareness, Acceptance and Action- now I have to figure out action. And I believe that I will have to get to some meetings, or to the mental health center. I called them awhile back,got on their waiting list, and never heard back . that has been two months at least.
This is purely a toxic situation- I can see and hear it with every exchange we have. Everything I say comes from a place of fear, anger, or simply control. So, that aint gonna work!

This group is a blessing in my life.
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