at the gas station this morning...
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: carolina girl
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at the gas station this morning...
I stopped for cigarettes this morning on my way to work, around 8 am.
I got in line behind a man at the first register. A woman came flying in the front door, rushing past me to get to the second register. Almost made physical contact with my body as she passed, like she didn't even see me there. She rushed up to the second register, and started putting change on the counter, wadded up cash and coins. I think there was already money there, and she was just adding to it after running outside to get more. She didn't even realize that another person was already at the counter, paying for his gas, and she interrupted the transaction. He reached around her frantic body, to finish putting his info in the card reader, and she apologized and moved over. She exhaled loudly, obviously exhausted and stressed. At this point I looked directly at her, and she was a mess.
Instead of judging her rudeness, towards both me and the other patron, I reminded myself that I too get distracted sometimes with worries and emotions, and forget what I am doing and where I am (of course these distractions are few and far between now, since my recovery started). We all know what it's like to be in a hurry, or be short on cash. So I dismissed the whole thing, feeling compassion for her and her state, and hoping her day would get better. Purchased my ciggies...
As she walked out the door ahead of me, I saw what she was buying.
A bottle of rum.
I prayed for her, as I watched her, exhausted, getting into her car. I tried not to feel bad for her, or pity her, but prayed that her higher power would take care of her. I also prayed for her friends and family to be cared for as well.
Just wanted to share the experience, it was eye opening for me, in so many ways.
I got in line behind a man at the first register. A woman came flying in the front door, rushing past me to get to the second register. Almost made physical contact with my body as she passed, like she didn't even see me there. She rushed up to the second register, and started putting change on the counter, wadded up cash and coins. I think there was already money there, and she was just adding to it after running outside to get more. She didn't even realize that another person was already at the counter, paying for his gas, and she interrupted the transaction. He reached around her frantic body, to finish putting his info in the card reader, and she apologized and moved over. She exhaled loudly, obviously exhausted and stressed. At this point I looked directly at her, and she was a mess.
Instead of judging her rudeness, towards both me and the other patron, I reminded myself that I too get distracted sometimes with worries and emotions, and forget what I am doing and where I am (of course these distractions are few and far between now, since my recovery started). We all know what it's like to be in a hurry, or be short on cash. So I dismissed the whole thing, feeling compassion for her and her state, and hoping her day would get better. Purchased my ciggies...
As she walked out the door ahead of me, I saw what she was buying.
A bottle of rum.
I prayed for her, as I watched her, exhausted, getting into her car. I tried not to feel bad for her, or pity her, but prayed that her higher power would take care of her. I also prayed for her friends and family to be cared for as well.
Just wanted to share the experience, it was eye opening for me, in so many ways.
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Location: Wizard Land Downunder
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Wondered if she were where some of us have been done that long, hard track.
Maybe she was she getting the rum for her alcoholic partner, and totally obsessed with doing it fast as he may not be in real "good" mood?
Lord knows she sounds like me racing to get another carton of beer to keep the angry monster from running rampant because HE ran out of his booze.
Pray she has comfort, her HP at her side nd may even end up here on SR for help.
Stranger things have happened.
Maybe she was she getting the rum for her alcoholic partner, and totally obsessed with doing it fast as he may not be in real "good" mood?
Lord knows she sounds like me racing to get another carton of beer to keep the angry monster from running rampant because HE ran out of his booze.
Pray she has comfort, her HP at her side nd may even end up here on SR for help.
Stranger things have happened.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
Gas stations are full of little lessons. The guy in front of me the other day bought a 6-pack - at 10:30am. I was so sad to see him get in his truck and drive away. I immediately thought about who might be at home. I also sent up a little prayer for him and his family.
You were such a good person to not judge her.
You were such a good person to not judge her.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 756
Well, some of the liquor stores here do have drive ups, but yeah, no alcohol sold in gas stations. I felt scandalized when I moved to Louisiana for a few years, and 20oz cans of beer were sold next to the cash register, in a cooler, at one of the gas stations. The drive thru daiquiri "barn" was bad too.
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Location: carolina girl
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I guess that was one of the things, I remember when I used to judge and jump to conclusions all the time about people, assuming I knew their stories. Like Jadmack said, who knows why she was doing what she was doing, if it was for her, or someone else, you just never know what someone's situation is. I didn't pray for her as an alcoholic, just in general. I was proud of myself, I will say that, for not calling her a rude name under my breath when she came in and almost knocked me over. The person I was before would have even said something out loud to her, sarcastic and rude. That's who I was.
The best part of the whole thing was seeing my "before and after" I guess, seeing the progress that I have made, and being okay with being proud of myself. Alot of recovery is such hard work, sometimes I don't even realize I'm making progress!
o/
=
The preceding intermittent punctuation was brought to you by my cockatiel, who decided to take a stroll across the keyboard. She obviously has something to say, so I felt obligated to share...
The best part of the whole thing was seeing my "before and after" I guess, seeing the progress that I have made, and being okay with being proud of myself. Alot of recovery is such hard work, sometimes I don't even realize I'm making progress!
o/
=
The preceding intermittent punctuation was brought to you by my cockatiel, who decided to take a stroll across the keyboard. She obviously has something to say, so I felt obligated to share...
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
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I can't count how many times I ran into a liquor store because XABF was intoxicated, desperate for his next drink, and they won't sell to drunk people here. I also couldn't believe at the time how many places let me use his credit card, but then again, he'd always bring me into the stores with him when he went in, so I am sure they recognized me, and that's how I got away with it. I was never even carded at most of them, even though I am certainly within the range where they're supposed to card (the guideline is to card anyone who looks younger than 40 or, in some stores, to just card everyone).
I love cooking with wine, and of course I have a recipe for chocolate Kahlua cake that is to die for... But I will go way out of my way to go to a liquor store for my supplies, because I don't want to go to one that will recognize me or, worse yet, ask me how XABF is doing.
All this talk of where alcohol can be bought makes me grateful that I live in a state where it's highly regulated compared to others. (Granted, we're right next door to another who is not so controlled, but nonetheless, it still remained inconvenient).
I remember two summers ago, when XABF and I took our trip to New England...
I took this picture one night, he was desperate for his whiskey, we actually drove an hour to find a place where you could buy whiskey late in the evening. Let's just say I am very grateful we did not live in Maine.
Selling liquor in a pharmacy seems a little self-defeating/ironic to me, especially considering that most of XABF's physical ailments were caused (or exacerbated, in the case of his pre-existing lung condition) by his alcoholism.
lhuytrz
(Peaches says hello to the Cockatiel.)
I love cooking with wine, and of course I have a recipe for chocolate Kahlua cake that is to die for... But I will go way out of my way to go to a liquor store for my supplies, because I don't want to go to one that will recognize me or, worse yet, ask me how XABF is doing.
All this talk of where alcohol can be bought makes me grateful that I live in a state where it's highly regulated compared to others. (Granted, we're right next door to another who is not so controlled, but nonetheless, it still remained inconvenient).
I remember two summers ago, when XABF and I took our trip to New England...
I took this picture one night, he was desperate for his whiskey, we actually drove an hour to find a place where you could buy whiskey late in the evening. Let's just say I am very grateful we did not live in Maine.
Selling liquor in a pharmacy seems a little self-defeating/ironic to me, especially considering that most of XABF's physical ailments were caused (or exacerbated, in the case of his pre-existing lung condition) by his alcoholism.
lhuytrz
(Peaches says hello to the Cockatiel.)
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Missouri
Posts: 36
It's everywhere here too. It's on the aisle with cookies and snack crackers at walmart (which is disturbing in and of itself). You can buy it at the drive-thru at all the gas stations. Way too easy, if you ask me...
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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So when will you stop smoking?
My grandad smoked and died from emphisema. He did not meet his granddaughters (my sister and me).
Barely survived enough to see my mom get married. I am told he suffered a great deal in the hospital and still wanted to smoke.
I know its none of my business but smoking is also slow suicide. I hope I don't offend you.... it is just reality..
My grandad smoked and died from emphisema. He did not meet his granddaughters (my sister and me).
Barely survived enough to see my mom get married. I am told he suffered a great deal in the hospital and still wanted to smoke.
I know its none of my business but smoking is also slow suicide. I hope I don't offend you.... it is just reality..
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Join Date: Mar 2009
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Smoking is a hand to mouth addiction. You can quit with raisens, pistacio nuts, sunflower seeds......the craving only lasts a couple of minutes.....there are steam cigs out now.....good luck with that.....yep addiction sucks......
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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Carol,
Great suggestion. Worked with me. I traded cigarettes for Blow-Pop lollipops in 2007. Haven't smoked since, although the urge still hits me from time to time. I keep a pop or two with me in case a get that old craving creeping up.
Great suggestion. Worked with me. I traded cigarettes for Blow-Pop lollipops in 2007. Haven't smoked since, although the urge still hits me from time to time. I keep a pop or two with me in case a get that old craving creeping up.
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Originally Posted by StarCat 
lhuytrz
(Peaches says hello to the Cockatiel.)
(Peaches says hello to the Cockatiel.)
( if i can figure out how to post a picture here... i'm so bad at this stuff)
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TC999-
I don't get offended... i'm in Alanon
haha, ok, that's not always true, but i'm working on it!!!
I would like to quit, and definitely will. Usually I will quit for years at a time ~ I will literally wake up one morning, light a cigarette, and go "this tastes like crap", put it out, and not smoke again for years. It seems when I get stressed out though, I always go back to it. I started again this last time when I sold my business, moved out of state to follow the Ex to NC. That should have been my first sign right there that it was a bad idea... oh well.
As with everything else that is happening in my life, I know I will quit when I am ready. I'm not going to beat myself up for not being ready yet. When I am I will know, and I will do it. I do love sunflower seeds though, the ciggies are definitely an oral fixation for me. I'd like to try the steam/water vapor ones as well. I hear they have silly flavors, like vanilla and cherry?
Honestly, thanks for caring you guys! I wuv all of you!
I don't get offended... i'm in Alanon
haha, ok, that's not always true, but i'm working on it!!!I would like to quit, and definitely will. Usually I will quit for years at a time ~ I will literally wake up one morning, light a cigarette, and go "this tastes like crap", put it out, and not smoke again for years. It seems when I get stressed out though, I always go back to it. I started again this last time when I sold my business, moved out of state to follow the Ex to NC. That should have been my first sign right there that it was a bad idea... oh well.
As with everything else that is happening in my life, I know I will quit when I am ready. I'm not going to beat myself up for not being ready yet. When I am I will know, and I will do it. I do love sunflower seeds though, the ciggies are definitely an oral fixation for me. I'd like to try the steam/water vapor ones as well. I hear they have silly flavors, like vanilla and cherry?
Honestly, thanks for caring you guys! I wuv all of you!
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