I am still a little crazy... I am still laughing at myself so I thought what a perfect opportunity to share how crazy the alcoholic life can make a person... I took my daughter to school this morning, and as I came down the street to my house, I noticed a cop parked haphazardly across the street from my house. The cop was in the car as I crept by and turned into my driveway. He immediately swung into my driveway right behind me, kind of at an angle like he was blocking me from backing out. My stomach did a flip-flop and my first thought was "oh crap - the RAH filed charges against me for something!" He got out of his car as I got out of mine and he says...drumroll here... "Have you seen your next door neighbors in the last 24 hours? Their garage door has been up all night and we got the call this morning to close it. No one is answering the door." For a fraction of a second, I was speechless. And then reality kicked in and we had a conversation about the neighbors. He was very nice and very concerned (there has been a few weird things I've noticed next door since moving in a few weeks ago - its a little disconcerting) and of course, he was good looking and I was in my pajamas! It took a good 30 minutes for my heart to stop racing and the adrenaline to leave my system. And now I am chagrined at the immediate reaction I had that I had done something wrong and it was related to the RAH. I am still amazed that none of our neighbors ever called the cops on some of our blow-outs during his drunken rages. I know they heard us. I have now found my sense of humor again and can laugh at myself over this, but also realize how much of that craziness is still just under the surface... Happy Wednesday, all! |
For some reason all I can think of is bears, headlights and dogfood. Seriously, my pulse went up a bit for the same reasons. |
Of course you immediately went "there." We've become conditioned to not only expect the craziness but to waiting for it as it will eventually rear it's ugly, misshapen little head. Glad it was the neighbors and NOT RAH causing trouble. Are they (the neighbors) OK btw? |
I still can't believe that was my first thought. Not "someone's hurt" or "my daughter's been in an accident". I don't know about the neighbors...its a little strange next door...and obviously I am not in the right frame of mind to make judgment calls on some strange family. The cop shut the garage door and left; nothing else he can do. Shell - dog food? I get bears and headlights... |
LOL I'd have pooped a live chicken. I'm a child of the seventies. Where we ALL were watching for cops all the time... I'm over fifty have insurance drive like an old woman ALWAYS wear my seatbelt.... and let a cop get behind me and it's shawshank redemption. I have to actually CHANT to myself "They're not after an old woman" ... LOL that'd have freaked anyone out. |
I can believe that was your first thought bc when I started reading your post, I thought that it was headed precisely where you thought it was when you saw the cop car. What did you do in your AH's mind that he called the police about. Unreal how similarly we think. I've read/heard that for as sick as the alcoholic is, we non's are sometimes sicker. I think for me that is absolutely true. My anxiety, worry, fear that I've constantly done something wrong is with me 24:7 some days. Less so now, but it will be a long long time before it is gone, if it ever is. Progress though is that you recognized that that was not normal thinking and then could laugh at yourself-- that is progress! |
Of course you immediately went "there." I hadn't even thought of it as being crazy, so you're ahead of me!!! :) |
Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy
(Post 2964898)
What did you do in your AH's mind that he called the police about. Unreal how similarly we think. And yeah - unreal how all of us end up thinking after the crazy train ride of addiction. Yeesh - what a ride this has been! I have not been afraid of a cop for many years...since high school when I had good reason to be afraid of cops. Unreal. My thinking, I mean. I need a meeting... |
Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy
(Post 2964898)
Progress though is that you recognized that that was not normal thinking and then could laugh at yourself-- that is progress! Dogfood. Actually maybe you can help me. Aren't the Bears constantly breaking into people's homes/garages because they can smell the bag of dogfood in the garage? Just more silly Alaskan myths. |
I think the whole PTSD thing could be valid.......I think I may have it! |
Originally Posted by Shellcrusher
(Post 2965676)
Yeah. Sure makes a point that we need to trust in ourselves and see the funny stuff in life. Dogfood. Actually maybe you can help me. Aren't the Bears constantly breaking into people's homes/garages because they can smell the bag of dogfood in the garage? Just more silly Alaskan myths. I grew up on a side of a mountain with lots of bears around...we had one in particular who got into our garbage and this bear came back each day for about two weeks straight. Pulled a screen off the window and made a mess of things he got into. My Dad finally shot at him, and we heard gunfire about 30 minutes later from neighbors down the street, and never saw the bear again. Funny that growing up here - its not the bears that concern me but the moose. Not that they will eat you, but they are HUGE animals and they do kick and trample and if you hit one with your car, they end up in your lap. I've been charged before and it was damn scary! |
My first thought watching the cop drive off is I have PTSD! And ditto Tuffgirl on the moose. I swear, the moose here are like gangstas. Normal wildlife runs when it sees humans. The Alaska moose just wave their gang signs and challenge you to a scrape-your-hooves-in-the-dirt-off. |
Originally Posted by lillamy
(Post 2965808)
And ditto Tuffgirl on the moose. I swear, the moose here are like gangstas. Normal wildlife runs when it sees humans. The Alaska moose just wave their gang signs and challenge you to a scrape-your-hooves-in-the-dirt-off. |
Totally forgot about Moose. I was fishing way up north in Canada once and a Moose decided to swim after our boat. He was like a football field away and decided he didn't like us there. |
cure for the moose thing - carry a wal mart type bag. all animals (even a 2000# bull) will move AWAY from that noise. when I worked horses I carried one wadded up in my pocket. it truly works. ps my sponsor was house bound this semester because a moose decided she liked the front porch. Here in MT a bear WILL come right in the house but only if they can't get into the garbage. it just happened this winter over more eastern mt. |
cure for the moose thing - carry a wal mart type bag. all animals (even a 2000# bull) will move AWAY from that noise. when I worked horses I carried one wadded up in my pocket. it truly works. ps my sponsor was house bound one morning this semester because a moose decided she liked the front porch. I told her about the wal mart bag thing and she opened the window and waved it and the moose ran away. it came back repeatedly (covered porch) but the bag worked and she got to class. Here in MT a bear WILL come right in the house but only if they can't get into the garbage. it just happened this winter over more eastern mt. |
I once sat in my car on my driveway honking my horn for a solid 15 minutes trying to get one to get out of the way so I could get in my house. It was standing on the front porch eating my flower basket. |
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