TakingCharge999

I was told I am not making enough money.

Why do people say that kind of thing?????????

I mean.. I KNOW... but it does not bug me so much, never intended to get rich anyway and I am glad I can pay rent and buy food and go the gym and tend to the cats and save a little for a house and and that's all.

But it got me... sheesh... I was not expecting that comment from that person.
At least I took the high road and didn't answer or tried to 'defend' myself. I just thought "this lady, probably SHE feels she doesn't have enough $$ and is projecting"

Anyway I feel better ranting here, thanks a lot for letting me share this.


PS The other day I was getting out of my apartment and there was my neighbor and 2 women, I said "hi", the neighbor answered back but the women did not even turned their heads to see me.. and I HAD to walk infront of them to get to my car... THAT is very rude...... what's wrong with them??? what a dumb thing to mention but I felt bad for a moment there. Then I breathed and thanked HP for not having anything to do with some people, without basic manners.

wanttobehealthy

That's good that you didn't try to defend-- I know how hard that is and that's a HUGE thing I am trying to work on with myself.

I don't know why some people seem to feel better about themselves by being rude to others but I am going to try from now on to remind myself that if someone is behaving nastily, I don't have to let it be about me. It can feel like it's about me, they can even tell me its' about me, but that doesn't mean it really is and if I can keep my head in a place where I don't let their nastiness impact me too much I think I will be much better off than I am when I try and defend...

Manners are important to me as well. I don't get stuff like that either at all. Maybe this is unhealthy but when someone displays such obvious lack of manners in public I try and be amused by it (even if I have to force it at first). Because really, who looked like the a$$ there? Certainly not you. So, they didn't say hi and that sucked and was rude, but ultimately they are the ones who look like they just crawled out of a cave and are out of touch with human manners and they clearly are oblivious to the fact that they are rude or else they'd act differently. So you almost have to feel bad for them for being so clueless? When my 5 yr old can identify that an adult in public is being rude it tells me that the issue is that person! D5 actually told this woman at Panera during vacation that she needed to wait her turn like Ms. X (her Kindergarten teacher's name) says. I just looked at the woman who'd tried to cut my 5 yr old and smiled.

lillamy

You're not making enough money?
According to whose standards?

If you are able to pay your bills, you're making enough money.
If you're not relying on other people to pay for your basic needs, you're making enough money.
In addition -- if you're not relying on government handouts, what possible business is it of anyone else how much money you're making?

That person obviously needs some problems of her own. I've got an AXH who'd love a date.

Shellcrusher

I hear yah, Takingcharge.
Rude people suck. Most people are rude. Most people suck.
I applaud your high road tactics. On the same note, rude people need to know they're being rude. I believe they've lost something in their hurry to let the world revolve around them and it doesn't work that way.

While I try to stay on my own path and not react to rudeness, I believe good polite people don't have to stand for that.

What used to make me feel taken of advantage of and pushed around was the elevator. Now it's my favorite hangout. I stand right in front of the door so when little Mr. Hurrypants wants to bumrush the elevator, he's shocked to see my face right there. Yeah son. Wait your turn!

Ever notice the ones who do that, Say, Oh sorry. Pardon me. They know what they're doing. While saying their sorries and pardons, they're still pushing through the door.

stepsforward

I just try to stay away from people like that. They enjoy insulting others.

Fandy

:rotfxkoMr. Hurrypants???? love it!

when someone makes a particularly unkind remark, you might respond with the following...."what a KIND thing to say"....feel free to point out their idiocy. this works for weight comments, $$$ comments, clothing comments...you can always modify or insert another work for KIND too.

kudzujean

I feel your pain...when I speak to somebody and they don't speak back, it REALLY ticks me off.

Once I spoke to a neighbor at the apartment where I was living then, and he responded with, "I really don't feel like talking to anybody right now." I said "EXCUSE ME!" and that was it. Needless to say, I never spoke to him again.


In the past, sometimes I've said something snarky when that happens. I'm not proud of that, it's just that it really bugs me and triggers my issue of being ignored.

In fact, most of the time, around my apartment complex, I don't speak first to people because of that. I'll respond if they speak first, though.

Wish I could get past that but I'm not an outgoing person. Maybe someday I will but I'm not there yet.

Fandy

I don't talk to everyone in my neighborhood...i live in a community that supports lots of outside activities, people are always walking or out gardening, kids, etc....

but i always wave or smile even if i'm in a hurry.

TakingCharge999

LOL... haha you made me laugh, thanks all...

This same person told me she cleaned her apartment and she has over 200 tops she doesn't like anymore... and that she is always changing her bags because she gets bored of them in a few days... remarked those were DESIGNER bags...

Conveniently I had to leave and didn't hear more...

Interesting how sometimes people don't own things, its the things that own them.

StarCat

Isn't that the truth!

theuncertainty

TC, IMO, some people are just so wrapped up in truly trivial stuff to try to make themselves feel better. I think this completely fits that gal:

Bleah. The first mortgage person (NOT the one I will be working with) I went in to talk with about what I'd need to do to be able to buy my own little home, how much would I need to save for down payment, closing, etc., looked at my application, looked me up and down and told me "I don't know what else to tell you, but make more money." And then added, "Maybe your husband can help."

Seriously? Really? That's ALL I need to do? Make more money. Get my alcoholic, abusive, lost-to-the-bottle husband to contribute to our household expenses. That's all? Well, sh-t. That's EASY. Why didn't I think of those things? What a great help. Thank you! :rotfxko

Lillamy, if you're pawning off your XAH, we may as well go in together on the ad. "XAHs available. 2 for the price of 1. scratch that -- Free to good home. scratch that -- Free -- Must convince them to live outside Alaska." Oh, wait. XAH's GF likes to take in drunks; she took in XAH, lets his drinking buddies stay there too, what's one more. Only downside, she likes to believe they're still good dad's while drinking because they're not really alcoholics and she only has a problem with how they deal with their stuff (the XW) while drinking, not the actual drinking part.

Ooooookay.... Maybe I fit into the rude people category today.

kudzujean

One thing you can say when people say things like that--and it's none of their business, is "How does my income (or whatever it was) concern you?" or "What does my income (or whatever) have to do with you?"

I read that somewhere.

TakingCharge999

theuncertainty, lillamy, we had the same conversation with a woman from Pilates, she is 70+. And she told us she has been married 50 years, recently celebrated it, and that his husband STILL doesn't pick up his own socks, lol... and she also sells makeup and perfume, and also said his husband was on sale, oh well, more like she will give him away for free, but the problem was that no one would pick him up. A really good sport, she is, and has more elasticity than anyone else Then she had to leave because she also goes to the treadmills!!

Fandy

i replaced Mr. Fandy with a little dog I adopted last year.....the dog is very neat, loves to walk with me, never complains about what i like on TV and is thrilled with whatever i feed him.

the dog never leaves anything on the floor either....he is much neater than Mr. Fandy....the dog does not gamble, sit at the computer or OTB for hours on end and i do not have to talk to the back of his head...the dog makes no extra laundry except for a bandana when we go out.

i'm sure i will at some point find another "Mr. Fandy" but for now, the dog is great company.....and so are the cats.

StarCat

I upgraded to a kitten.
She loves to cuddle. She can't wait to spend time with me. She'll follow me around the house (except when I vacuum, then she'll run and hide until I'm done).
She doesn't complain about my cooking, and will eagerly eat any food I give her - dry food, wet food, my own cooking. I get to pick what's on television, and she'll curl up with me and we'll watch it together. She loves when I invite guests over to visit, as long as they don't pick her up right away. She doesn't get upset when I don't clean, unless it's her litterbox I'm not cleaning, and even then she's too polite to go on the floor.
She'll meow at me really loudly if she wants to play and she feels I'm not paying attention to her. If I still don't react, she'll attack my shoelaces and whatever I'm currently working on. She will let me choose when to go to bed, although she does wake me up in the morning if she feels I've been sleeping too long. (She wakes me up in time to get to work when I forget to turn on the alarm).

She's sitting in my lap right now as I type this, licking my elbow and my nose, purring her little heart out.

I think it's an upgrade all around.

LaPinturaBella

Rude people really are the pits!

Sometimes I really think I'd be MUCH happier if I lived in the middle of nowhere surrounded ONLY by animals. I know for a fact I like animals a heck of a lot more than I like the majority of the two-legged animal called human. How sad is that???