I'm back...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
I'm back...
Hey folks...
I'm back from my three-ish day weekend! It felt good to get away and spend time with the kids and my family. The 6 hr drive down turned into an 8 hr drive... Which was a bummer... But with some positive encouragement, patience, and candy from mommy... The kids hung I there for me
They had a blast with their cousins, and I loved watching them! I'll have to upload a picture of all 10 of them playing! The kids were so good for me. Not angels, but I was able to stay calm, detached and was so proud of the way we interacted! Family gatherings can sometimes bring out the worst in all of us... Not this weekend though, which I think was due in large part to the absence of AH and his drinking... Not having that extra stressor (on top of my 20+ LOUD family members!!) really helped me stay peaceful and serene.
In fact, my brother and his wife have a 15 month old (plus 3 boys from his previous marriages/relationships, don't get me started!!)... And the two of them were at each others throats all weekend. Being stressed out is no way to handle a child... I was able to witness that and boy did it open my eyes. The baby was over tired Saturday, no nap, and up way past bedtime. My SIL was stressed which agitated the baby more. I took the baby for a calming walk and within 5 minutes had her asleep in my arms. Peace and serenity is good for everyone!!!
I had a good time talking to my oldest sister... Her husband is 2 months sober... And it's been tough for them. I spoke about how good Al-anon has been for me and gently suggested she consider trying it as well. She gave lots of reasons why she doesn't need a recovery program... So I changed the subject
The drive home was much better... Only 6 hrs, and the kids were, yet again, great travel buddies. The three of us did famously. I know we will do okay on our own.
On a side note... It was a bit sad to watch the first communion children and their parents. I briefly found myself thinking about how awkward those moments will be as divorced parents. I spent about 5 minutes dwelling on it and then told myself to move along!! It's wasted energy to spent time dwelling on the future and what ifs.
Anyways, thanks for listening... Sorry this was so long!
Shannon
I'm back from my three-ish day weekend! It felt good to get away and spend time with the kids and my family. The 6 hr drive down turned into an 8 hr drive... Which was a bummer... But with some positive encouragement, patience, and candy from mommy... The kids hung I there for me
They had a blast with their cousins, and I loved watching them! I'll have to upload a picture of all 10 of them playing! The kids were so good for me. Not angels, but I was able to stay calm, detached and was so proud of the way we interacted! Family gatherings can sometimes bring out the worst in all of us... Not this weekend though, which I think was due in large part to the absence of AH and his drinking... Not having that extra stressor (on top of my 20+ LOUD family members!!) really helped me stay peaceful and serene.
In fact, my brother and his wife have a 15 month old (plus 3 boys from his previous marriages/relationships, don't get me started!!)... And the two of them were at each others throats all weekend. Being stressed out is no way to handle a child... I was able to witness that and boy did it open my eyes. The baby was over tired Saturday, no nap, and up way past bedtime. My SIL was stressed which agitated the baby more. I took the baby for a calming walk and within 5 minutes had her asleep in my arms. Peace and serenity is good for everyone!!!
I had a good time talking to my oldest sister... Her husband is 2 months sober... And it's been tough for them. I spoke about how good Al-anon has been for me and gently suggested she consider trying it as well. She gave lots of reasons why she doesn't need a recovery program... So I changed the subject
The drive home was much better... Only 6 hrs, and the kids were, yet again, great travel buddies. The three of us did famously. I know we will do okay on our own.
On a side note... It was a bit sad to watch the first communion children and their parents. I briefly found myself thinking about how awkward those moments will be as divorced parents. I spent about 5 minutes dwelling on it and then told myself to move along!! It's wasted energy to spent time dwelling on the future and what ifs.
Anyways, thanks for listening... Sorry this was so long!
Shannon
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: carolina girl
Posts: 578
Glad to hear you had such a great time! It's amazing what we learn when we just sit back and watch/listen. I get a kick out of realizing "man, I used to be like that...", especially when I see people overreacting and arguing. I'm so glad to have a program now. And like you said, even the baby noticed the difference!
Welcome home!
Today is a New Day
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Welcome back!
I'm glad you had a good time, and so did your children.
And I'm so happy that your program is helping you detach from the craziness!
I had the opportunity to put my program to the test over the Easter weekend, and I realized that I learned so much more than I thought I did.
I wish I didn't have to go through the things I went through, but I'm so glad I learned all I did from the experience. And there's still so much learning to do.
Welcome back.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 428
Welcome back! Glad to hear you had a nice time. I wanted to add that until a few months ago I didn't think I needed Alanon either. My T wanted me to go, my friend who also as an AH wanted me to go, but I just really saw it as HIS issue and if that could be FIXED everything would be fine. I really needed to warm up to the idea and get a better understanding of it all. I also needed to get to that point of feeling like there was nothing left for me to do... felt like life was getting unmanageable. So give your sister time and let her know you are there for her and someday she may just go.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Alone22... You're so right. My sister will find her way on her own schedule! The best I can do is keep living a good example of what the program has done for me... A program of attraction, not promotion 
She has her hands clenched on the wheel still... I see that, and I love her for it. We come from a long line of control freaks so I understand how hard letting go is going to be for her.
I just checked my email... And my new al-anon book will be here tuesday! Yeah for me!
She has her hands clenched on the wheel still... I see that, and I love her for it. We come from a long line of control freaks so I understand how hard letting go is going to be for her.
I just checked my email... And my new al-anon book will be here tuesday! Yeah for me!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,103
Which book did you get? Paths to Recovery? I had that book but I lost it, dangit. I need to pick up another copy.
Originally Posted by GettingBy 
Alone22... You're so right. My sister will find her way on her own schedule! The best I can do is keep living a good example of what the program has done for me... A program of attraction, not promotion
She has her hands clenched on the wheel still... I see that, and I love her for it. We come from a long line of control freaks so I understand how hard letting go is going to be for her.
I just checked my email... And my new al-anon book will be here tuesday! Yeah for me!
She has her hands clenched on the wheel still... I see that, and I love her for it. We come from a long line of control freaks so I understand how hard letting go is going to be for her.
I just checked my email... And my new al-anon book will be here tuesday! Yeah for me!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Originally Posted by sandrawg
Which book did you get? Paths to Recovery? I had that book but I lost it, dangit. I need to pick up another copy.
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