Divorce is final.

Old 05-04-2011, 02:50 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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to getting by: I don't know if "happy" is the word or "peaceful" you are looking for here. I can't imagine being happy and yet someone took me out for a day trip- we explored new things- we got lost and then found - had no schedule to follow-was completely spontaneous- I learned something newI got to share something new with another friend -and in the end I felt for one day I felt like my old self. Just the beginning.

to dancing now: I would have stayed longer had it not been for the liability issue that seemed to loom large over me - I pushed forward with the divorce when I realized this. As far as reconciliation goes - it takes two! I had to admit to myself that my EAH was only looking out for himself and not both of us. A marriage is about two people! That is not working on reconciliation.
I delayed things and took financial hits and emotional hits and losses while he tried to recover - but his recovery did not include learning to care about me. So I had to take care of me. He used to tell me that he loved how tenaciously I could love someone - so I decided i needed to love myself the same way.
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Old 05-04-2011, 03:54 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Kassie2 View Post
I had to admit to myself that my EAH was only looking out for himself and not both of us. A marriage is about two people! That is not working on reconciliation.
I delayed things and took financial hits and emotional hits and losses while he tried to recover - but his recovery did not include learning to care about me. So I had to take care of me. He used to tell me that he loved how tenaciously I could love someone - so I decided i needed to love myself the same way.
Oh, Kassie, I hear you and it helps me not feel so alone. Every day my head tells me this same message and every day I expect it to be different but it's just getting worse. I fight it less and less. I am starting to realize I need to accept this.

I am going to do a separate post now to get out some of the crazy thinking I have been going through.

Take care and lots of hugs and yes, love yourself and savor any moment that even begins to feel like your own self has come back.
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Old 05-04-2011, 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Kassie2 View Post
He used to tell me that he loved how tenaciously I could love someone - so I decided i needed to love myself the same way.


It does seem like everyone and everything we let go of has claw marks on it... unless it's something for us. If it's for us, it's suddenly unimportant. We need to actually sit down and learn how to do things for ourselves.


Thank you so much for this. You worded it perfectly.
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Old 05-04-2011, 07:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Kassie2 View Post
how tenaciously I could love someone - so I decided i needed to love myself the same way.


Bravo Kassie!

Well said,
thank you for sharing that with us
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