As you recover, anyone experience nightmares?
 

I'm finding the more I'm recovering from Codependency habits, the stronger I'm getting, the more nightmares I'm having. Has this happened with anyone?

For instance, I have a lot of dreams lately where I'm lost and can't get to where I need to be. When I have a "break thru" day, where I really notice progress, that's when I am most likely to have the nightmare....

Anyone else have anything similar?

Every night.
Usually, it's the same scenario: I'm in my home, where I feel safe, a place I know AXH by law can't come within 500 feet of. And all of a sudden, he's just there. Smiling. Saying, "you'll never really get away from me. Surely you knew that?"

I have the lost dream a lot - sometimes it's a nightmare, sometimes it's just confusing/disorientating and others it's just frustrating. Familiar places don't lead to where they're supposed to, streets go elsewhere, doors open into different rooms etc.

I wouldn't worry about it. I think that it's just my subconscious playing, working things out. I try not to read too much into it.

Be kind to yourself. :grouphug:

Yes...mostly about suffocation, rape or the inability to talk, generally at the hands of XAH. The recent stuff is about him kidnapping DD.

Meh. They're brain farts.

Yes-I had a nightmare the other night that my exabf was flaunting these new women in my face. He's with this pot-smoking exgf now, and in my dream, he sent me a DVD where they filmed themselves having sex...

I may be wrong, but I believe our dreams and nightmares are our bodies way of working through the days experiences. It's our way of processing what is happening in our lives and sometimes we need help getting over the hump. I try to go to sleep thinking happy thoughts (beach, son, something peaceful) and I don't know if it helps, but I try.

If you continue to have nightmares and are losing sleep, see your doctor. Maybe she/he can help.

Nightmares about being trapped in my car as XAH drives it, hitting everything on or near the road, cars, trucks towing boats, buildings... The owners of the stuff XAH hits, just smile and wave like in a 1950's sitcom. I cower in the passenger seat and pound on the windows. Or, me driving in my car trying to get away from XAH who is following in a truck with a gun, and seeing my gas gauge dipping below E with town lights barely visible over the far hill. My car dies and XAH is there with his gun...

So many variations on the same theme...

Or living with XAH again and going through everything again: the darkness, the tirades, the abuse, the r*s, and DS stuck there with me through it ALL.

I know these are all just me trying to process everything. The one I really hate though, is a replay of one that I'd had over and over through high school, before I'd even me XAH: I'm lost in a building, running trying to get away from some one, I'm pushing a shopping cart that a child is riding in, my son, a beautiful blond haired, blue eyed toddler, who is also screaming and crying. We have to navigate parking blocks, trying to find the door out. There is no door. I hate this one because it feels like it was prophetic back in high school and then a I-told-you-so now.

As Grnmtn1 suggests, I try to go to bed thinking good thoughts, hiking through favorite areas, walking through and decorating my own house. My T tells me that those are very helpful tools and to try to incorporate more senses into the visualization. When walking through the house, touch the counter top and feel the smooth tile, smell fresh bread, feel the coarse fur as I pet the Irish Wolfhound who is lying in front of the fireplace....

When I was little, I was able to change channels for my dreams. I'm trying to be able to do that again.

When I was young, I used to be able to fly in my dreams. I wish I could do that again.

I've never been able fly in my dreams, even when I realized I was dreaming and thought, hey, that'd be cool.

Yep I had lots of nightmares in the first year of recovery. But they have eased up to no more than 1 a year now (maybe 1 a year is normal, I dont know). I put it down to a symptom of post tramatic stress. I noticed back then, that the nightmares also came more frequently with PMS.

I wish I could get to the point where I can realize that I am dreaming when I am dreaming. Some people can do that... I can't. I fly a lot in dreams as well, but I usually can't control where I land. I'd say 85% of my dreams involve me leaving the ground on a regular and uncontrolled basis, whether it's jumping, driving a car over hills, or flapping my arms to fly.

I think the happy thoughts idea is worth a try, I also am a fan of sound machines/nature recordings. I like rain forest type stuff with frogs, crickets, birds, etc. Ocean waves are always nice too. I also burn incense when I go to sleep, helps to relax me.

When I was younger, I used to have dreams where something/someone evil was chasing after me, and I'd flap my wings and fly over it/him/them and fly away. I wish I had that kind of dream now.
In hindsight, I guess it was my subconscious trying to tell me that I was stronger than any trouble that came my way, I just had to keep working on overcoming it.

Now, I don't really dream that often, at least not dreams I remember - but when I do, it always seems like it's my mind trying to work out things.
The most memorable one was shortly after finishing "Why Does He Do That?" over Christmas a really graphic dream about the sex trade, of all things. Think of the movie "Taken," but from the perspective of the guy's daughter instead, nobody coming to save her, and XABF running the show.
I spent a lot of time sitting around in my PJ's after that one.