theuncertainty

Yep, that's a big one for me too, Bookwyrm. I'm slowly getting to the point where I don't freeze like a deer in the headlights. Here are a few more:

• Orange Honda Elements, silver Xterras, black sedans, green trucks.
• Not being acknowledged while the person still rolls their eyes at what I'm saying.
• The bedroom door opening in the middle of the night, even if it turns out to just be the cat.
• Empty glasses left sitting on the floor.
• Some one grabbing my shoulder from behind.
• The flicker of the TV left on in the middle of the night with the volume muted.
• People standing up suddenly when they're mad.

pupnut5

• When someone says "people say they're true feelings when their drunk"

• When people blame others, god or the universe for things that are clearly their own

• When I hear co workers say they 'need' a beer after work to relax

Thumper

I'll probably discover a lot more. I don't have very much interaction with other people so am not exposed to lots of triggers.

Tuffgirl

I thought of a few more this morning:

Being chastised like a child by anyone. Except my parents. They can do that to me and I'll be ok with it.

Grocery shopping is a good one...I have found myself sad for the same reason...or it makes me angry.

When I experience something awesome and there is no one to share it with. I thought that was one of the greatest benefits of being married?!

When the RAH disses AA...and they are small little petty annoyances he has with the program...nothing serious...but it invokes a little feeling of panic inside...

wanttobehealthy

This one really hit home for me. I've re-connected with cousins that I have not seen or talked to in 20+ yrs recently bc of mandating from my mother that we cut all of my father's side of the family out. I didn't want to be the family traitor so I went along.

Anyway, in Feb I reached out to 2 of them and we've made up for lost time and it's amazing. And occassionally when I talk to them or return from visiting with them and their kids, I feel a twinge of sadness that AH isn't a part of it. He'd like them a lot. I wish they'd been in my life when AH and I got married and he'd known them and we'd spent time all together. It makes me a bit sad to not share this with him... Anyway, I really 'get' your description of this very thing above... I hadn't thought of it as a trigger and maybe if I do and just accept that I feel a bit sad about it and it is what it is, it will be lose its power... I find that when I can figure out the reason or some of the reason behind why I feel something it helps make the feeling a lot more palatable -- maybe that's just me?

Thumper

I know what you mean. Even the little nods or small shares at the end of the day. Like you had a partner in the world, someone in your corner, the little fun insider jokes.

Things about the kids too. Big and small things that a non-parent wouldn't care about or would consider bragging about stupid stuff. I wish there was someone to tell that stuff to.

I didn't have that in the last years of my marriage anyway but I do miss it none the less.