Took a long time...
 

But I finally, after much time, work, effort, and heartache told my seperated AH that if he did not seek couseling by May 18th for his alcoholism and abuse/anger, that I would be filing for divorce on that day. AND I MEANT IT!! I feel a sense of relief knowing that I made it as definitive with him as possible. I needed to do that for both of us. I'm pretty certain he has no intentions of seeking couseling (or he probablly would have done it by now, and he still really doesn't believe he has a problem with either), and I'm not sure he really believes me....but I will do it. One of my favorite quotes I learned here are, "Say what you mean, and mean what you say." That's what I am doing...need some finality and conclusion to this situation.

Good for you!!!

It's amazing, isn't it, when you hit that spot where you just know you've had enough. Even though it's a bottom you hit, it's almost as if you're in water, and you can use that bottom to kick off up towards the surface again!

Looking forward to cheering you on and commisserating with you on your continued journey!

That's great that you set a clear timeline and mean it and feel able to keep it.