JACKRUSSELLGIRL

If there is one thing I am finding out about this whole process of letting them go and moving on to a better life is that it seems to be filled with emotional ups and downs. My A has not been drinking for about a month now and yesterday got all sad and emotional about the split. I actually was feeling bad for him (don't worry not THAT bad) and sad that it has come to this. It so sad that he can pull it together for months at a time and then BAM he sabotages himself once again and starts drinking.

I do feel bad that this disease has him and wish he could find sobriety for his own sanity. I know that it is not in my control and he has his own HP to help him. Just feeling a little sad about everything right now.

This too shall pass...



I will let you know if this last too long and I need one of these

pupnut5

After 1 month of not drinking, he is probably having 'feelings' that a regular adult would have. 'Feelings' that have been suppressed by alcohol for a long time. Its not surprising he's so sad & emotional. I'd hate to awaken from a horror nightmare to find I'd lost my wonderful family. Worse yet, that the monster that destroyed it all was me. I wonder if thats why they relapse so often. Its inspiring to read how you're handling it though. You seem lovingly sad for him yet strong enough to keep your distance.

wanttobehealthy

Is is sad isn't it when we see that they CAN for periods of time be the healthier version of themselves and closer to the person we married. You're smart to know that it's not likely to last and that it's not your job to worry about whether it does. And you're honest and brave to admit that it's hard and you feel badly that addicition has such a hold on him. I guess some might say that's co-dependent/unhealthy etc.. but I think it's human. You married this man, had kids with him, know in your heart and head you are done but it doesn't preclude you from feel bad that something we wouldn't wish on anyone (addiction) has such a hold on these people we love. I hear you!

I think you are handling things really well considering you are living under the same roof and have such a long history together with him.

You're really strong and deserve to be proud of yourself!

JACKRUSSELLGIRL

He said today that our anniversary is coming up soon and it will be 23 years, are you sure you want to do this?? Have to admit that it hit me but i must follow through. We all know how easy it can be to get caught up in the DANCE again.

I am trying to learn to let my feelings come, feel them and then let them go. Easier said then done sometimes.