A strange new calm
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
A strange new calm
I guess my head and my heart finally decided to get together and agree.
After I don't know how long -- at least since 2006 -- trying to believe the three Cs, they're rooted in me.
I feel detached completely from AXH.
I feel no responsibility for his actions.
I know both in my head and in my heart that I have a right and an obligation to protect myself and my children from abusive alcoholics whether they are homeless and living in the woods behind my house or a fancy schmanzy guy in a suit that I used to be married to.
It's the weirdest sense of freedom.
I have no illusions that I won't have setbacks.
But for today, for right now? I'm glowing with the sense of having come out of the tunnel.
After I don't know how long -- at least since 2006 -- trying to believe the three Cs, they're rooted in me.
I feel detached completely from AXH.
I feel no responsibility for his actions.
I know both in my head and in my heart that I have a right and an obligation to protect myself and my children from abusive alcoholics whether they are homeless and living in the woods behind my house or a fancy schmanzy guy in a suit that I used to be married to.
It's the weirdest sense of freedom.
I have no illusions that I won't have setbacks.
But for today, for right now? I'm glowing with the sense of having come out of the tunnel.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
Originally Posted by lillamy 
I know both in my head and in my heart that I have a right and an obligation to protect myself and my children from abusive alcoholics whether they are homeless and living in the woods behind my house or a fancy schmanzy guy in a suit that I used to be married to.
I'm right there with you today!!! It feels so good to have both feet on the ground, firmly planted in reality. Head and heart in line with each other.
It's these snapshots of clarity that I long for. I work my program harder and harder so that I have more and more of these moments... and making them last longer and longer. Working my way to the more peaceful and serene life that I want and deserve!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by lillamy
I guess my head and my heart finally decided to get together and agree.
After I don't know how long -- at least since 2006 -- trying to believe the three Cs, they're rooted in me.
I feel detached completely from AXH.
I feel no responsibility for his actions.
I know both in my head and in my heart that I have a right and an obligation to protect myself and my children from abusive alcoholics whether they are homeless and living in the woods behind my house or a fancy schmanzy guy in a suit that I used to be married to.
It's the weirdest sense of freedom.
I have no illusions that I won't have setbacks.
But for today, for right now? I'm glowing with the sense of having come out of the tunnel.
After I don't know how long -- at least since 2006 -- trying to believe the three Cs, they're rooted in me.
I feel detached completely from AXH.
I feel no responsibility for his actions.
I know both in my head and in my heart that I have a right and an obligation to protect myself and my children from abusive alcoholics whether they are homeless and living in the woods behind my house or a fancy schmanzy guy in a suit that I used to be married to.
It's the weirdest sense of freedom.
I have no illusions that I won't have setbacks.
But for today, for right now? I'm glowing with the sense of having come out of the tunnel.
I have felt moments of this lately-- it's not static and permanent but it is better than it's been and if feeling it just a bit feels as good as it has I can't wait til I get further down this road to where you are. I am really happy for you and clearly it took tons of hard work, heartache and committment to get there. You deserve it. And it's great that you are aware and okay with the fact that there will be setbacks or as I called mine last week, relapses... But if you pick up and take what you've learned and keep moving fwd, then it's all good. Enjoy your day and the great feeling you have!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Somewhere in the big ole' world....
Posts: 545
For me, it is a sense of calm, of peace,of detachment - after three years misplaced hope,of believing (and being lied to) and trusting (and having that trust crushed), I can let the EX live his life sober or drinking and work to rebuild mine.
It's been a month since I let him go and while there are days (and I'm sure lots to come) of sadness and regret, the relief, the serenity, not living with a perpetual knot in my stomach, headache, walking on eggshells, it's just.....calm. that's the only I can describe it.
It's been a month since I let him go and while there are days (and I'm sure lots to come) of sadness and regret, the relief, the serenity, not living with a perpetual knot in my stomach, headache, walking on eggshells, it's just.....calm. that's the only I can describe it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
