Shellcrusher

Here's the update.
After a rough weekend, the AW and I finally had an open clear talk. She has agreed to keeping the boy in school for the summer. The reason is because she knows she needs to focus on her outpatient/addiction therapist stuff. She still believes that last week was her rock bottom. She openly admitted to having an alcohol addiction. She said she no longer wants to feel the way she does. She realizes and admits that her alcoholism has impacted several areas of her life and she is actively taking steps to get help and treatment.

I've heard this before but it was always in a drunken stupor. This is the first time I've heard it from her sober. I am not going to file for a divorce. I was so ready to do it so what stopped me? I grew up with an alcoholic parent. My mom took the steps to recovery. She still works it every day but they made it work.

Backing down may not be the right choice but my primary concern of keeping the boy in school has been addressed to my satisfaction. We always talk about letting our A's grow up and work on their recovery. With the boy in school, my A can work on her stuff and that's the best thing I can have for right now.

Thanks again for all the support. It's been a tense time.

Tuffgirl

I like this part. There is nothing wrong with giving them a chance. I am. I have divorce papers completed and ready, but he asked for a chance and so far, is really making progress in AA. Granted, we don't live together anymore and luckily, we can afford it to be that way. That also helps a lot! And AA and Al-Anon both recommended not doing anything drastic in the first year of recovery. I did the drastic thing for my survival by moving out - but a divorce can wait - for now.

This may very well have been her "bottom". I hope so for your family, but especially for her...I've heard stories from mothers in AA/Al-Anon who feel they missed out on so much with their children and the guilt is overwhelming. I wouldn't wish that on any mother.

Jeep08

You have set your boundaries. She has accepted that one for now. Good to hear. That’s progress. You have taken steps forward just not in the direction you originally thought. That’s OK! I hope her rehab goes well. Keep posting.