Deep Breath, One foot in front of the other
 

Police just showed up to give me the subpoena. That didn't take long from the time I fired my lawyer to the time I got served (he had told me that they Prosecutor's office couldn't subpoena me directly as long as I had a lawyer... true?)

The police haven't been here since Jan 31 when AH was arrested. I got really anxious and upset seeing the car pull up and being face to face with the two officers. Not for any particular reason I guess other than the association of what it meant when they were here last.

Having this in hand is making the trial a lot more real. Maybe that sounds stupid. But it's how I feel right now.

I was not feeling this nervous at all for the past few months and I am feeling super nervous about the whole thing right now.

I obviously won't be sharing how I feel with AH so I am just posting this here to get it out I guess...

Thanks for "listening"...

I hear you. Breathe and feel whatever you are feeling. Make friends with it. Don't block it. Just accept it until you feel peaceful with it. You can do this.

Don't know the rules in your State--I would be fine with subpoenaing someone directly even if they had a lawyer, though I probably couldn't TALK to them without the lawyer's permission. My guess is if that's what they told you, it's true.

I hate dealing with witnesses who have their own lawyers. It's totally unnecessary unless someone is on iffy legal ground.

I'm sure you are gonna be feeling the stress until this is over with. Try to distract yourself if you can--I think the more you focus on it the more nervous you will be.

Remember what I said about letting go. The process is in motion, and if you try to over-control it you will only be messing with your own head. Try not to overthink it, just do what you have to do, and everything will turn out OK.

:hug:
You will be fine.
You know the truth. You know what you need to do.
You are stronger than you believe.
You can do this.
:hug: