Intervention?
 

We are considering an intervention for my 41 year old son. Does anyone have any experience with an intervention? Open to pros and cons.

No. Not a formal one...although I considered the day I set my STBXAH down and said, essentially, I know you've been depressed, drinking in secret, hiding and lying about it and it doesn't work for me anymore, was an intervention of sorts.

It put my relationship on the fast road to over.

So, my experience is all we have to work with is the choices we make around our As. Intervening is trying to change them and leads us nowhere.

Good luck!
p

We did one for my mom years back.

It was well recieved, she was 59 then.
She did not take to the meetings, stayed sober for 10 years and has now taken back up with the bottle. SHe says she is in control, but if you call her sfter 5pm, she is snockered.

Are you consulting an interventionist?
They are expensive, but, they know all the pros and cons.

My mom was a hard nut to crack, and it worked, but no guarantees...

I dont have any personal experience with this... and I'm not sure why the following thread got locked, probably for controversy... but scroll down in the first page, DesertEyes has some great info about interventions. Good luck! http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ervention.html

We had an informal intervention about 3 years ago for my now ex husband. I read this book...Love First: A New Approach to Intervention for Alcoholism and Drug Addiction. It was very helpful and will help guide you to how many people/who should be involved, how to write an impact letter, where to hold one, etc., if you decide not to use a professional.

In my opinion, regardless of what route you take...private or professional, you need to be prepared to do what is asked of you after the intervention if they don't go and that is to stop enabling. Cut off contact and make sure there are consequences. If you aren't ready to do that then you'll not get the outcome you seek. We, as enablers have to be ready to make a change as much as the alcoholic has to be ready to make a change or we're no closer to recovery than we were when we started.

Hosting an intervention is very scary and emotional but you're doing it because you love him and you want to save his life. Just remember that. Best of luck to you and your family.

What will the offer be? Rehab?

I have a book on it. Each person writes a letter. The person who has the most influence with the A goes last. There are 3 parts. Each person reads 1. how drinking has effected the A, then part 2. how it has effected them, and 3. the consequences if they continue. There is no insurance or money for treatment in our situation so the bottom line is- you go to AA ! There is a pre-meeting with everyone. I have a book written by a lady from the Intervention show on tv, Candy Finnigan. google how to do an intervention.....

I think it's iffy to try to do a "formal" intervention without someone who has training.

I read somewhere that informal intervention by a physician or employer can sometimes be more effective than family/loved ones who are often involved in the alcoholic's guilt/resentment cycle.

Have you seen the A&E show, Intervention? On their website, you can request that they do an intervention for your loved one. They would cover all treatment expenses, but I guess it depends on if you're willing to air everything on global television.

Even amongst professionals there are often differing opinions about the "right way" to do one, or if they are even effective at all. I did one on my wife. She went into treatment. She relapsed. Many times.

But she also was introduced to AA and The 12 Steps. Years later she found recovery through AA and the 12 Steps. And I found recovery through Alanon.

It was worth every penny and I'd do it again.

Take what you want and leave the rest.

Cyranoak