MayaandMe

Hi,

I am visiting my exABF, my daughter's father, for the first time in two years. We live in two different Central American countries.

He left last night for a quick trip to the beach, and.... has not made it back yet. I have been through these binges so many times, kind of saw it coming BUT he is willingly giving up one or more of the few days he will have with his daughter for the next year.

AND, worse than that, I am letting it affect my trip.

HELP, how do I accept that this is who he is? How do I accept that this is how he is going to treat my daughter? My heart breaks for her. She is 3 and doesn't really understand what could be going on...but I am sure she senses that I am stressed.

Thanks for listening,
Susan

barb dwyer

Luckily, she's three
and like you said
doesn't really understand what is going on.

Can you change hotels or something?

I'm not a world traveler... so it's kinda out of my area
but if I was in like ... Orlando...
I'd either change hotels and go to Disneyworld anyhow
or just go back home.

MayaandMe

Hi Barb,

I am definitely moving to a new hotel. I do wish I could just go home, but I have planned to have my daughter's tonsils out while we are here because the medical care is so much better.
So, I am trying to meet up with old friends and have fun with my daughter.
Although I knew it would be a possibility that he was still very much the same in his addiction, I had kind of bought in to the quackity, quacking. Now that I see the reality, I know it is the same or worse. Old thinking patterns come back quickly, but I am trying to remember that this is not my problem, nothing to do with me. I have enough to deal with right now, without meddling in his problems.
My dad, RA for 20+ years, always tells me that I do not have to think too far ahead, I just need to do the NEXT RIGHT THING. That is what I am trying to do today.

Thanks for being there, I really needed someone tonight!
Susan

barb dwyer

Sorry for the delay -
lost my 'net connection for a bit.

I'm glad you're moving forward ...
and keeping in the moment!
Maybe just chalk it up
to a reminder that
jaguars don't change their spots
and load up on the ice cream>

I was three when I got MY tonsils out
that was back in the early sixties when
they really didn't DO that unless it was
life threatening ...

I'll send positive thoughts for her
and for you!