pixilation

Keep your fingers crossed/pray/think good thoughts for me please! This would be the perfect sublet, I could bring my cat with (pet deposit already paid) , opens up middle of May, done August 1st(so then I can move to a different apartment in the school district I want the kids in)

I'm going to run by and take a look at it after work tonight, it's only 2 miles from work!

ItsmeAlice

Fingers crossed!!

GettingBy

:ghug3

Good news!!! Yeah for you!! Sending prayers out

nodaybut2day

Crossing all crossable appendages for you!

StarCat

Good luck!
It sounds great!

bookwyrm

Fingers crossed here!

PurpleWilder

consider it done.....

pixilation

Okay, it looks good, the dining area is a bit small,but I can make it work for 2 months. I'd get to bring my cat with(pet deposit already paid) I go in tomorrow to fill out the application(and pay $30, but that's what my emergency savings is for), that's a credit check, and I should pass that no problems(based on getting the job and from the check from the savings account).

pixilation

Is it okay that I'm a little scared? Hell, I'm terrified. I got the job, working, but this step, an apartment, it's scary. I know it's necessary, I don't want to be a victim of one of AH's blackouts(now that he's hit that stage) I don't want to go through another drunken rant, I don't want the kids to have to experience another rant, but I'm still scared.

japabp2000

Prayers going up for you Pixel! I would be scared too, that's only natural sweetie, BUT this is something that is far far better for you and your kids. I pray that you and the kids leaving will be your AH's rock bottom as well, but if not, just keep on keeping on and focus on you and the kids (as you are doing). (((((Hugs)))))

bookwyrm

Of course it's OK to be scared! Change is scary! When I was going through my separation, I kept on thinking: 'nothing changes if nothing changes' - it became my mantra. Every time the fear crept in, I'd run it through my head a few times (my anger helped here too). Staying and living the way I had been living was much more scary than moving on. You can do this. You're doing great! Keep on taking one step at a time.

StarCat

There's bad scared, and good scared.

This would be the good kind of scared, it's a change, but a good one.

On the list of scared-ness I'd stick this one closer to the "watching a scary movie at home with popcorn, a kitten, and fuzzy socks," and far away from the "I don't know what will happen next because I live with an alcoholic."

Pelican

I was scared.
I was uncertain about my future.
I was leaving with myself, two teenagers and two pets.

The song "Believe" by Staind became my theme song for myself TO my children. (I discovered it when my kids put it on my ipod, smart kids!)

Here are the words:

I sit alone and watch the clock
Trying to collect my thoughts
All I think about is you
And so I cry myself to sleep
And hope the devil I don't meet
In the Dreams that I live through

Believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
Believe in me
Sometimes the weak become the strong
Believe in me
This life is not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause I was made for chasing dreams

All the smiles you've had to fake
And all the ******** you've had to take
Just to lead us here again
I never have the things to say
To make it all just go away
To make it all just disapear

Believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
Believe in me
Sometimes the weak become the strong
Believe in me
This life is not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause I was made for chasing dreams

It's my life
It's my choice
Hear my words
Hear my voice
So just believe

I sit alone and watch the clock
Trying to collect my thoughts
All I think about is you
If you believe in me
Life's not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause I was made for chasing dreams

Believe in me
I know you've waited for so long
Believe in me
Sometimes the weak become the strong
Believe in me
This life is not always what it seems
Believe in me
Cause I was made for chasing dreams

here is the video:

YouTube - Staind - Believe (Video)

pixilation

Oh yes, it's definitely of the former type of scared, not the latter. And I'm really looking forward to taking a bath(haven't had one since I was in the hospital with youngest, only a shower in the house) and having a dishwasher, for the first time in 8 years.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this...

Tuffgirl

Yes, scared is normal. Hell, I am scared every day. I just bought a house and I have to force myself to not go down the "what if" road because my fears overwhelm me. So every time I find myself going there, I have to forcibly stop that thinking and say a little prayer.

A wise woman told me not too long ago that I will feel so much better when I have reorganized my universe. Coming down home stretch and she was right - I am feeling a lot better!

But I am still scared...and that's ok...I am human after all!

ItsmeAlice

Yes you can do this!!

I've been working for a year now to buy a house of my own again and when I got an email with the date and time of my house closing, I got nauseous and my heart started racing. After all this time?! I was reminded that it's only natural to get scared and even a little woozy. Change is scary, even good change. Fear of the unknown and all.

So I repeat....You can do this!!!!

Alice

theuncertainty

You most definitely can do this Pixil! Deep breath!

barb dwyer

Pixi -

of COURSE you can!!!

just LOOK at how much is falling into place
now that you've removed the barrier!
(no need to dwell on what the barrier was - it's just GONE is all)

I'm so excited for you I'm pacing around the house lol!

this is great great news - so WHOOSH!

Carol Star

Yes you can....yes you can....yes you can....

TakingCharge999

I noticed something --

YOU ARE ALREADY DOING IT!! lol

Thank you for taking the cat with you... well I know you are not "that kind of people"

But thanks a lot for taking care of the living beings in your world, including you, who deserve LOVE AND SERENITY.... what else is there, really?? for me LOVE, PEACE, SILENCE, SERENITY are The Major Items I will ever need... and I have got more of those since I moved to a place by myself with my 2 cats. We make a real family, I am the 'hunter', they place their toys in line for me at the entrance and at my bed as 'gifts to the Alfa hunter that brings the Whiskas home everyday' and then after a hard day one works as pillow, the other as feet heater and we all watch "Law and order" and "Dr House" while having dinner together.

I don't miss the guy who let my cat out and left me sad and worried for 3 days looking for it.
I don't miss drunken calls or drunken rants. Or any alcohol. There's no alcohol in my home. Oh wait. There is a small vodka bottle in my fridge. I think it has been there for months, untouched!
Hmm.. there is a longer list of what I don't miss...but after a few months I have forgot much of it... AND THAT IS WONDERFUL...

Its a new life!!