Little update
 

Things (by things I mean me) are still progressing in the right direction.

I do wake up every morning with some anxiety (over leaving) and my mind starts going in a million different directions... but miracle of miracles, I'm learning to quiet the 'voices' and then I go about my day! This is huge for me!
With no therapist, and no meetings (which I will start with both when I leave)
but I'm just so proud of myself for this.
I do not engage at all with my AH. I am able to even have some laughs with him. But it's detatched now. Does that make sense? It's almost as though for the first time, I'm able to love him in a healthy way! (no that does not mean I'm getting sucked in again) It doesn't change anything, it just is what it is.
And I don't even think it will make my leaing any harder. It's almost like, the addictive pull is lessening, and all that's left is love, ya knw the thing I'm supposed to feel?

And ofcourse listening to him "quack" and just seeing him through my new eyes is what's keeping me moving forward towards my goal.

The other thing that's keeping me in reality, is my new friend. watching her and her boyfriend with their healthy relationship, makes me see just what I am missing. Imagine being upset about something, and being able to communicate that with your partner, and then come to a healthy resolution!
Oh my Goodness/only in fairytales right?

Here's wishing a wonderful day to all of my SR friend's!
I could never have gotten this far without all of you!!