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Originally Posted by sakura
(Post 2937967)
Well, he is threatening to fight me for custody of our daughter, and I don't have a job, or car, and I am very concerned about being able to find a place to live that I will be able to afford with whatever job I might be able to find. It's very overwhelming and I am still wrapping my head around the logistics. He is making it easier on me though (not really), he doesn't want to work at the jobs he has right now (two part time jobs) so he wants me to get a job so he can quit one of his. Maybe I can find something good enough to live off of? Guess what? I wound up making 60 grand a year. Then I met AH no.2. Let him convince me I didn't need that job, bc we were okay financially. It was stressful and I didn't like it. So guess what I did? Quit. Fast forward 2 years later. He is awful to say the least. Reached my breaking point and left on 6 hours notice. No job. No place to live. Again, I had stayed way too long because I believed I could not take care of myself. I found my way. I have a job. I have a place to live. . Don't kid yourself. It was not easy, but I put the effort into it and made it. I have examined my behavior and realized that if another person were to ask me, I would go to the ends of the earth to make something happen for them or help them succeed. But when it comes to me.......guess what? I never went to those lengths for me. Why the heck not? I deserve that same kind of attention/effort as anyone else does, actually more so because I am me? duh!! For some reason, I have had to teach myself this. So now all the effort I have put into other people is going into me. Guess what else? I will be great/successful because I am taking care of me now. You can take care of yourself.. I promise you that. You will find your way. Put your brain into you now and go be successful. |
There is only one scenario in which he might change, and that's if he wants to and fully immerses himself in a program of recovery. That's it. There is no other scenario. There is not one thing you can do to change this. No matter how much you try. You can't love somebody into recovery. Sorry, Cyranoak |
I need to go through this thread and hit the "thanks" button for everyone's replies! Deep down I know he is not going to change, and he is trying to get me to back off already (even though I didn't ask him to quit). He hasn't had a drink fro two days, and he keeps texting me things like , "I really want a beer right now", and "see why I need to drink". Seriously! He was angry with me because I went to my brother's house to exercise on Saturday. (He was stuck at work, and I was out having fun) How many parties and things has he been to, when I didn't even let myself see my brother that often, and didn't have any friends at all. He would often stay out ALL NIGHT and go directly to work the following day without even giving me a call to let me know where he was. And he has the nerve to get angry with me for going to my brother's house for two hours in the afternoon, with the kids. Grrrr. Sorry, had to let that out. |
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