peachpie683

My husband was forced to retire 2 years ago. He always drank but now he drinks every day and I have noticed a major personality change. Each weekend he will drink 2 and ½ cases of beer (75 cans of beer) slowing down on the weekdays. He doesn’t eat much, is thin, and won’t take a shower because he says it dries his skin out. My husband use to be such a sweet man but now he is critical of everything I do. I also noticed he doesn’t sleep much and is up all hours of the night. When he is sober he still seems to be nasty about everything. I feel like I’m walking on egg shells all the time. I don’t notice any swelling of his belly or any change in the color of his skin. He did tell me that it doesn’t take much beer to get drunk anymore but he just can’t seem to stop once he starts. Is there still hope and what stage would he be in. He will not go to a doctor because he doesn’t have a problem. I’ve been told repeatedly that I’m the one with the problem. We have been married for 37 years and I just don’t know what to do. I plan to go to an al anon meeting and a bible study for women. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.
Oh yeah, I took the Al-Anon quiz. Answered yes to all but 2 questions. I'm really a mess right now and scared to death for the man I love.

Ladybug0130

He is definitely an alcoholic. As everyone will say I am sure, you should try to find some Al-Anon meetings to get help for you. You can't make him to go rehab or see a doctor if he doesn't want to. You will talk till you are blue in the face and it will only make him angry with you, unless he wants recovery.

jamaicamecrazy

So sorry for what your life has become. And it is sad to accept that your husband has a disease, that he does not want to change, and that is nothing you can do about it. Al Anon will help you deal with the pain, focus on you and your feelings and eventually take the steps you need to have the kind of life that will make you happy and at peace.
Come back here often to get some needed support.

brokenheartfool

Google the 4 stages of alcoholism. I think your husband is in dangerous territory--stage 3 is when tolerance decreases and it is easier to get drunk. Other behaviors point to stage 3 also, like letting his personal hygiene go and not eating properly.
That said, nobody is really an expert on just how your husband's alcoholism will progress, and certainly not me. Everybody is slightly different.
There's a thread "how the family of an alcoholic can help their loved one" or close to that title at the top of this forum. You might want to read that.
It's good you are going to some help groups for yourself!

peachpie683

thanks for the help. I want to help him but I need to be strong in myself. I don't understand this illness but I plan to get the knowledge so I can. Life is such a mess right now.