Ouch
 

I've considered leaving, but haven't done so obviously. Starting to evaluate options.

RAH keeps telling me he believes it will work, we just have to charge on through.

This AM I logged onto my Verizon account to find the number of a customer for yesterday. Was randomly calling numbers to see if it was them when one rang through and it was for a family law firm here in GA. I looked again, and it was tied to his number.

Ouch.

Called lawyers this AM. No one has called me back yet.

I really want to ask him about it, but I'm holding back.

Why ask him? He's obviously starting to lawyer up or at the very least considering it.

I advise you to do the same.

Because in my stupid head I'm hoping it's a mistake. As in he accidentally called them. The phone call was less than a minute.

I started a response... got distracted by a phone call... (So some of what I say is already been said!)

What would you get by asking him? You already KNOW he called lawyers... and you know why. He's going to do what he wants to do.

You do what you need to do... for you.

Why are *you* afraid to hire a lawyer? You'd only be protecting your rights and ensuring that you fulfill your legal obligations. Even a "simple" divorce is a complicated process, and it is priceless to have someone on your side telling you where the law stands and what you can expect. Hiring a lawyer doesn't make you a bad guy; it makes you smart. Also, others on this board have managed to do their divorce without the help of a lawyer, but I understand that it requires a lot of legwork....and in the end, I do recall some of them hired a lawyer for a short consultation just to check over the proceedings and make sure that everything was in order.

And so what if he did call a lawyer "for real"? Like, you, he has every right to get informed and protect himself.

If he called a lawyer, that implies to me it is beyond hope and that it's done. It's a hard realization. And a scary one. A year ago I wasn't even engaged. It sucks.

Not necessarily. Maybe he was just getting information, like several here have advised you to do. It is never a mistake to be informed.

OR you can switch over your viewpoint and consider that you've learned a great deal about yourself in the past year. Whether or not your marriage ends will also be a learning experience and part of your journey. This couldn't have come about if you hadn't met and married your A. IMO, things happen for a reason, putmeontheair.

Nothing except death is a done deal. And a divorce doesn't become a divorce until the final decree is accepted by the judge.

You can ALWAYS change your mind.

I'm a lawyer and I've had people call and even pay a consultation fee to ask what rights they have, possibilities and probabilities, when their spouse has mentioned wanting to move out or get a divorce. I have no idea what your H talked to the lawyer about, but that is one possibility. The majority call to file or respond to a Complaint/Petitioner, hire for mediation or enforce or modify, but I just wanted you to know that there are other possibilities, including post-nups or just info.